Divorce 19:
Divorce forthcoming?
Native's family rejects her spouse.
No Children
additional viewpoint re: this nativity: love vs. safety in a time of moral conflict
Q: (from a family member, regarding the Native's situation)
Respected Madam, I am writing abt my elder sister, 3 yrs elder.
She had an affair,and got married secrectly feb 2007, Bcoz of Rahu 12th house.
The person she has married is of outcaste and she says tht person is two years younger to her. Also after she married within few days the secret came out and we left our house along with her. The person she has married doesnot have gud education,and no permanent work. No earning.
My sister is fair and beautiful and tht person is dark and bit fat also. Our family knew nothing abt the affair and marriage till things came out this fashion,It was a time of tension at home since feb 2007. We dot defamed and left the native city.Now we r in different city.
Also according to astrology i think that my sister will get divorced and free from this relationship, bcoz this is wht our whole family wants except my sister she is consistent with the fact tht she got married, and does not feel sorry also for the cheating to family. We have done lots of Puja but no results in change of her mind.
Kindly throw some light on her divorce and future marriage, also L-8 mahadasha will start in april 08. Is there any hope tht my sister will break this relationship and remarry to better person according to parents wish.
Jai Ganesh -- Plz tell wht her martial future is?is there 2nd marriage and when.
... about my sister, we r very much puzzled and worried about her future in marital matters, all of us are stuck and insecure about her.
Her Rahu and Moon, Grahan Dosha in Libra,12th house has created in her mind such illusions and she took the wrong step of marrying outside caste and also got defamed.
Our parents are more worried bcoz they have spend their lives in raising us with moral values especially our mother, so she feels much disappointed. The time is simply passing and we are not able to get guidance from anybody, I have tried explaning using your Texts of Divorce and Remarriage-such concepts to them.
I wud on behalf of my parents be grateful to you if you cud give guidance, by including her chart somewhere in Siblings or Marriage or Divorce Section, (Not detailed analysis only on this aspect of Love/Secrect Marriage/Defame/And Living in illusionary world/Remarriage/Divorce in reference of her Chart.)
A:
This situation is difficult to interpret. The nativity does not seem damaged to me.
Except for chronic low self-esteem, graphically depicted by the low shad-bala of Surya (see bar graph at right) the female in question is a basically healthy D-1/D-9 personality.
L-6 Kuja positive and negative implications
L-6 is clearly empowered, and thus Kuja is a potent troublemaker in marriage and in life.
IMO Kuja in domain-7 does not give Kuja Dosha in the first marriage. Kuja does give Kuja Dosha however in the second marriage - so remarriage to a "better" spouse may not solve all this native's problems.
In the first marriage at least, the problem will be L-6 occupying the marriage house, in significant strength. Animosity, low behaviors, debt, and disease may attend the spousal character. Perhaps with a vengeance, due to the aggressive power of L-6 Kuja ... Plus, navamsha Kuja = neechha -- never a good thing in marriage.
However, Kuja is also lagnesha. When lagnesha occupies domain-7 the native is very powerfully identified with their marriage and their spouse. Despite outside pressure to denigrate or abandon the spouse, the native may be deeply committed to a union in which they see their essential nature being supported & reflected.
Particularly if relationships with parents are less supportive (see domains 4, 9 and 10 for the parental support), lagnesha in domain-7 is often a karaka of surprisingly deep and long-lasting marriage commitment of the native.
Shani and Guru
Guru is a good quality swakshetra benefic graha, who buffers the negative effects of Shani by His drishti.
The relationship between Shani and Guru is beneficial, according to their mutual 5/9 angle in radix and a similarly beneficial 1/7 angle in navamsha. This benefit gives long-term stability in the life, as lords of 2,3,4 and 5 are in harmony.
Marriage in Feb 2007 would have occurred in the bhukti of navamsha L-7 Guru, which is appropriate for timing of marital vows.
Placement of gochara nodes at time of marriage
Marriage vows are stated to have been confirmed (I presume this was a temple wedding?) in Feb-2007, when gochara Rahu-Ketu were moving through the Kumbha-Simha axis.
Normally gochara Rahu-Ketu should contact a key point such as lagna of D-1 or D-9, nodal axis of D-1 or D-9, Chandra of D-1 or D-9, or even Shukra of D-1 or D-9. Gochara Rahu-Ketu did not contact any of these lagnas for a Feb-2007 marriage.
However, the gochara nodes did contact the navamsha lagna containing navamsha position of the mahadasha pati and the bhukti pat (Guru/Shani in D-9) so perhaps, if this was a culturally peculiar or undesirable marriage, that type of nodal transit is adequate to satisfy the gochara node rule.
Core karma with the Father, Mother, and younger Sibling:
The core karma in this nativity is a difficult, rule-bound, judgmental family -- in particular, a distant, ritualistic, conservative, fearful and intolerant father (domain-9) and an anxious, cautious, unsupportive younger sibling (domain-3).
The mother is quarrelsome, sometimes withdrawn, and emotionally unstable (Chandra/Rahu/12). The mother may project many of her fantasies, esp. desires for the exotic & forbidden, upon the native.
The emotional constitution of all persons is a direct result of the emotional projections of the mother's unfinished business upon the native. If the mother is secretly a spiritual aspirant, the native will carry forward that emotional leaning. If the mother is besieged by fantasies and unfulfilled desire for taboo-breaking adventure, the native will also carry out that emotional agenda.
Das/Behari says of Shani in padaa-1 of Pushya nakshatra:
"This placement is not beneficial for good family relations. You will be independent in nature, courageous, and work hard for your wealth. You may be of middle stature and simple features."
In general regarding the karma of Shani in Karka in dharma bhava, they say:
"You are important and may have many social responsibilities and material riches. You will be hungry for power, covetous of the possessions of others, and lacking in a sense of moral propriety."
Das/Behari says of Budha/Makara/3:
"You often travel on business trips, though you may also engage in illegal business transactions. You are very talkative and receive sorrow from siblings."
Das/Behari says of Surya/Makara/3:
"You receive setbacks in your professional life and enter into disputes with siblings. You are, however, invincible to foes, over whom you ultimately attains victory. Desspite courage and enthusiasm, you often feel lost and internally drained."
Marriage-1: Feb. 2007
Shani/Guru period ; Guru = navamsha L-7
gochara Rahu-Ketu = Kumbha/Simha, crossing the navamsha axis of mahadasha pati-opposed-bhukti pat
Guru periods and Children
It should be noted that Guru periods frequently produce children. This native may bear a small number of children, and have some difficulty raising them due at least in part to a negative and unsupportive family.
Difficulties can also be anticipated regarding the child/ren's exotic, dark, low-caste or foreign qualities, due to L-9 Chandra yuti Rahu, in domain-12 of ego obscurity, foreign lands & customs.
Chandra as L-9 does contribute benefits of fertility.
Swakshetra Guru occupying putra bhava limits progeny but Guru's aspect to dharma bhava, which contains the L-4 for motherhood, increases the opportunity for at least one child to take birth.
Marriage and divorce situation would certainly take on a new and more difficult dimension if children became part of the picture, which Guru bhukti is likely to induce.
In answer to the question whether timing of divorce can be predicted, it can be noted that the first opportunity for divorce occurs rather quickly after marriage, in the immediately subsequent period of Budha/Budha.
Budha = L-8, a karaka for Divorce.
Radix Budha is not particularly well disposed; Budha's overall weakness contributes to the possibility of divorce in the first Vimshottari bhukti of L-8.
Budha =
yuti a low-power Surya
neechha in navamsha
lord of the inauspicious Trimshamsha.
The combust L-8/L-11 Budha yuti shallow Surya indicates:
underlying low self-esteem & mental depression (enemy Shani's drishti to domain-3)
tendency toward servitude in the profession (L-4 Surya in an enemy's rashi, 6th from swa-kshetra)
sense of responsibility for and social identification with the younger sibling
suicidal ideation (not suicide act itself, just thinking about it) during Shani/Budha period
BTW there are some good points to the Surya/Budha/Makara/domain-3 situation.
This native will do well in government service, in clerical or administrative positions of large organizations, where regular attendance, following standard operating procedures, and adhering to conservative financial policies are rewarded.
Budha mahadasha brings income fruits of L-11, which the native may re-invest in some small commercial enterprise for additional profit.
Divorce-1: potential
Budha/Budha period
gochara Rahu-Ketu = after Oct 2009, when nodes have entered Dhanau/Mithuna contacting natal Shukra
Gochara nodes crossing Shukra lagna is not a compellingly strong argument for divorce during Budha/Budha.
The gochara nodes should cross a major lagna of D-1 or D-9 to indicate a catastrophic divorce. Contact to L-7 Shukra (in 8th from swakshetra) is a possible trigger, but not the strongest predictive case.
Marriage-2: presuming the potential divorce occurs in Budha/Budha period (and this is a presumption, not a prediction) there are several likely remarriage bhukti periods during Budha mahadasha:
Budha/Shukra - this is a very strong marriage era
gochara Rahu-Ketu = Vrischika/Vrishabha [june-2011 until dec 2012]
or
Budha/Rahu -- or -- Budha/Guru
when gochara Rahu-Ketu = contacting major lagnas in D-1/D-9 including Chandra lagna and possibly Shukra lagna
IMO this native will work hard to make her marriage a success. Lagnesha occupies domain-7, with strength. No doubt the spouse has abundant L-6 attributes. However, the native may experience a very strong personal connection through the psychic bond of marriage which may indeed withstand the critical disapproval of her family. However if divorce is required, the most likely periods are always Vimshottari bhukti's of L-2 and L-8, which must simultaneously contain gochara Rahu-Ketu movement across key lagnas of D-1 or D-9.
Q: (this query was placed by Aspiring Film Star who is the immediate younger sibling of the bride.)
Respected Madam, Namaskar,
Thanks for helping Us, ...
the marriage done was a temple marriage done secretly, but it could not be registered with court, due to the disclosure of the secret by a relative.
Soon after the disclosure, we(Parents and myself were confused) so we planned to kept silent,bcoz spread of news would have caused social defamming and confusion..
I visited a near-by popular Pandit/astrologer as well a Tantric, who is a very honest person also.
Shri Panditji guided us by telling us that use of Tantric powers have been done on my sister,to mesmerise her by the person she has married,since the last few years.
I worked simply according to Panditji,who helped as God during that crisis time,It was because of his hard work, that made us come out of the city, peacefully.
But during this period,my sister continued to pressurise mother,and tried all sorts of emotional blackmailing and indirect-threats, to push us and that we accept her choice.
We certainly felt that black Magic was done on her,bcoz a family member will never harass a family members.,what we were aiming was that we shud seprate her from that person, since time is a big healer.But she is so grouned that all three of us get disillusioned and puzzled till now, though she is far away from him and with us, her behaviour and body language shows no change in this matter.
One more astrologer has said that the presence of Rahu-Moon in 12th house makes her believer of Tantara. ------------------------------------------------------------------
Now what is the best possible path?
There are very few options left for us now keeping the time factor,her age into account,and the social believes. She is with us since feb-07 till now,far from tht person with no contact with him, Options left: 1)Wait for the Divorce timing-She will never give divorce and the other person will not ask for it,means we have to keep waiting the other person rejects her or claims separation. 2)Send her to that person-which will disappoint all of us especially parents,their daughter going in hands of unknown person,also now he might take undue advantage of our weak situation by asking dowry or harrasing her i near future. 3)We cannot compel her or even talk to her about secong marriage. 4)All we can do is that she stays with us,again if i get married which is unlikely till the time she is properly settled. ------------------------------------------------------------------ So Madam,what exactly shud we do ?WE R SIMPLY WAITING FOR THINGS TO GET WELL BY THEMSELVES,after,APril-08. Kindly tell what can be done in this situation.
A:
Yes to compassion, No to superstition
The first baby step toward best path is always, at the beginning and during every next step, to treat each and every participant in this karmic situation with the maximum possible compassion.
The second proper step, if you are asking for my advice, is to abandon any inclination toward superstition, sorcery, and blaming of outside forces for one's own moral decisions.
The third step will be forgiveness of the parents, who are perhaps acting from selfish fear of their own future position rather than sincere love of the child.
Personal responsibility - no victims, no blaming
It will be necessary to cultivate mental strength and accept personal responsibility in order to achieve good results in this very difficult situation.
It is very convenient to blame black magic or sorcery or other misuse of tantrik skill for the conflict and unhappiness currently befalling your family. However, this is victim logic. Do not indulge in it. You and everyone in your family have full power to create the positive future that you desire.
Karmic stress pattern of mutual blaming, criticism, and oppression
At root, the problem from a Jyotisha perspective is interlocked karma of the four major players: two parents and their two adult children.
I would recommend to look closely and non-judgmentally at the personalities of these four people. (Take the sister's husband out of the picture for a moment.) I would be willing to speculate that this marriage problem of the daughter is a culmination of many years of manipulation and resistance patterns within the family unit.
Compassion means being able to "stand in the shoes" of another, feel their feelings, and accept their predicament as appropriate to their path.
The karmic stress pattern of mutual blaming, criticism, and oppression will continue until at least one person steps forward to speak with compassion and tell the truth.
Aim for honesty regarding true motives
Family members may lack compassion in this situation. They may be dishonest about their root motives for wanting to destroy the love marriage of this daughter and the husband she chose for herself.
Do the parents sincerely want "the best" for their daughter (love and passion) - or do they in fact want "the best" for themselves (pride and social position)?
Does the younger brother want his sister to be emotionally fulfilled and to enjoy the passion of young love attending her delicate beauty?
Or does he want to curry favor with the parents who may still be paying his bills, pretending to care for his sister but indeed denying her feelings, perhaps becoming a mouthpiece for authoritarian tradition?
Love:
Compassion means wanting another to be free of suffering.
Love means sincerely wanting another to be happy.
When we love another person - child, sibling, spouse, or parent - we feel a limitless desire for them to be happy.
We absolutely want the best for them, without conditions or consideration of whether their happiness affects our own material fortunes.
Parental love
Typically the true love of parents toward their children is very pure.
Parents naturally want their children to be happy!
Parents feel that they "know better" which skills, desires, and habits should be cultivated to provide a lifetime of greater happiness. Normally parents are quite right about the need for personal discipline, good diet, good association, study skills, medical care, etc. That's why children receive parents: to shape and guide their character!
However, if the parents find themselves shaping & directing the child's choices not out of wise love for the child but rather out of selfish fears and insecurities, then the trust placed in those parents can begin to erode. In serious cases of selfish motivation, parents can actually harm their children both morally and physically.
Moral entitlement to make decisions for one's child:
What loving parent would ever want harm to come to their precious children?! But indeed this negative, trust-destroying result can occur when fear replaces love as the parental core motive.
When the parents' own material welfare becomes more important than the happiness of their child, the parents lose their moral entitlement to make decisions on their child's behalf.
So, I encourage everyone to look compassionately at the parental fears in this situation. Notice whether their fears have begun to overwhelm their loving trust in the divine goodness of their children.
Children are a gift from God -- not a tool for personal or social aggrandizement. It is good to be attentive here. Be prepared to begin forgiveness of the parents and siblings, if indeed they have stumbled on their moral path.
Sincere, objective reflection upon true operating motives
IMO, sincere meditation upon the real motives in the case, and an honest accounting of the social, moral, customary, and religious values being invoked, will shed important light upon the next proper step.
Dishonesty of all parties is a concern. Ensure that everyone is, to the best of their ability, speaking from the heart.
Gochara Shani in Simha: Question authority!
"There are very few options left for us now keeping the time factor, her age into account, and the social believes. "
Question this sense of "limited options" and purported urgency to suppress an inconvenient eruption of independent choice, love, and passion.
This is Shani fear-driven thinking that exaggerates the perception of safety and scarcity (Shani) in a marriage decision that should emphasize love, self-knowledge, and creativity (Surya).
What indeed does "the time factor", "her age", or other "social belief" have to do with love and happiness? Women may marry happily at any age, from nine to ninety. For whom are there "few options left"? The bride has indeed a lifetime of options, including the one she has already chosen!
Gochara Shani: forcing sincere moral inquiry, questioning authority, and forgiveness
Gochara Shani in Simha always forces the bloom of "ethics karma" from the subconscious. Shani is exceptionally uncomfortable in Surya's rashi, where Shani is exposed to the blinding bright, hot rays of Divine Intelligence. Shani of course like to operate in the dark, murky, cold world of rules for the sake of rules, enforced conformism, and publicly approved, lowest-common-denominator behaviors. Shani's banner is "safety".
Under the tyranny of "safety" the individual cannot and should not make one's own rational choices. The rule of law, the weight of tradition, & the fear of ostracization, no disorderly, disruptive debates personal ethical integrity can be tolerated.
When Shani travels through Ravi's rashi, Shani must try to preserve His dark and rigid fortress of Safety against the brilliant, burning hot, individualistic, rational onslaught of Surya's forces. Shani's movement through the terribly hostile territory of Simha evokes a great battle in human society and even greater in the nativities where Shani, Surya, or Simha are impacted by the transit. Ethical conflict is inevitable - and, for the conscious impacted native - highly beneficial for moral growth.
A need for rational self-inspection, along with respect for the fears of others
The key to success is rational self-inquiry, appreciation and respect for Shani's safety agenda, and commitment to highest individual ethical action.
The individual must break away, ethically, from the pack.
To do so one must be willing to inspect one's own moral principles. Why does one hold these moral beliefs? Upon inspection, are some or all of these beliefs based on fear and not compassion? Upon inspection, can one's moral beliefs be better aligned with Divine Intelligence (Surya) discovered in meditation and selfless service?
Releasing one's own ego fear of social failure
Release resistance and fear. Focus closely on fear of social judgment, which is affecting everyone these days due to the transit of gochara Shani & Ketu through Simha rashi. Shani brings punishment for non-conformity to social custom, and fear of telling the truth (Simha/Surya at its best signifies true honesty and moral integrity).
Reflect on the natural fears and prejudices carried by the parents, and *forgive* them their trespasses! Of course they are older and hungry for the security promised by children in "good" (materially wealthy, high-caste) marriages.
However, does the parental insecurity and fear of old age ensure their right to deprive their daughter of her freely chosen husband? Clearly the daughter continues to maintain her marriage vows, nearly one year after her vows were confirmed in a sacred marriage.
Let us look carefully at the moral principles involved here. Which prerogatives are being claimed and why?
No victims
Seek to entirely avoid the behavior of "blaming" upon persons or spirits. Every action and reaction in human life is a projection of one's own subconscious expectations and desires upon the blank screen of perceptual experience. Although normal humans cannot control the nature of the projections, we have a tremendous amount of control over how we *respond* to the projections.
Victims abdicate their power to control how they respond to the projections.
Do not be a victim. Take responsibility (without guilt, of course!) and accept control.
You and your family members have considerable control over your own belief system. While much is culturally inherited, much is also amenable to rational inspection in this age of philosophical education and logical science.
The psychic fact is that beings who occupy bodies (i.e. everyone presently in a human incarnation) have natural seniority over beings who do not have bodies.
Evil spirits - although they are indeed out and about and often nasty troublemakers - *cannot* overwhelm the minds of human beings unless they are given permission to do so.
This is an extremely important point.
Black Magic/Sorcery requires victim's cooperation
Demonic forces *must have permission* to affect the mind of the "victim" or they simply cannot enter. No sorcerer no matter how skillful can cross the boundary of an aura marked "do not enter".
Yes, Black Magic and psychological manipulation can be effective against weak minds who participate in victim-thinking.
Do you want to be a victim?
This decision is actually a choice to be made, not a curse of fate. If you are intelligent enough to read this paragraph, you have the power to decide to not be a victim.
To alleviate family sorrow, anger, manipulation, and guilt:
Accept responsibility for adult choices and their outcomes.
Step back and look at the cultural assumptions involved, and ask whether these assumptions are valid, and for whom. Shani repays careful examination and detailed planning!
Ask the larger questions about the daughter's true well-being. Evaluate the parents' and sibling's sense of entitlement to limit and control the daughter's heart of love.
Make compassion the motive of all choices and actions. Forego selfish or fearful thinking. When fear-driven folks (especially ill or elderly) act from fear, immediately forgive them - but do not follow them! Set oneself on an honest moral path, based on the love which gives deepest desire for another to feel happiness.
Your own safety, security, and well-being is best guaranteed not by fearful oppression but by the freedom and creativity of an open, honest heart.
Namaste.
updated: 24 August 2008
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