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Divorce 6
Five-year committed "rebound" relationship
Amicable Separation
A Post-divorce "rebound" relationship
This childless, post-divorce union between two educated mono-cultural "thirty-somethings" endured for five years.
Both partners had been divorced only a short time before entering into this significant "rebound" relationship.
Male & female had both entered a "transition" zone of reevaluating their life plans & values, after traumatic separations from previous commitments.
After some talk of marriage, this relationship ended amicably. The union intentionally produced no children. But of course there was profound disappointment for both parties.
Each person subsequently found a new long-term partner.
Male Kuja Dosha:
Super-empowered Kuja Dosha in the male nativity, emitting from the troubled Kuja-Shani-Rahu complex in domain-4 Vrischika.
Typical of Kuja/Shani in domain-4, this male suffered ongoing repressed anger toward his controlling and manipulative parents, which he unconsciously vented upon his marriage partners.
Due to the depth and complexity of the emotional suppression (Shani/Kuja/Rahu) that was required to survive in his childhood home, the male was completely unaware of his anger toward his female partners. He tended as a life pattern to attract partners who came from homes where screaming, fighting, destroying property during arguments, and high physical drama in general were culturally acceptable and indeed celebrated methods of "stress relief" in marriage. Thus he was able to "act out" his inner rage without accepting responsibility for feeling these culturally unacceptable emotions.
Compounded by the presence of weak and surreptitious Surya in domain-7 -- representing selfish spouses who "do what they want regardless of what I think or say" -- this male experienced his own behavior as "reasonable" and "nonviolent". Underlying his philosophical facade was however a cauldron of historic anger, and a deep frustration with life.
Indeed, the male native eventually died by his own hand, so evil was his inner torture that no partner could ever soothe. Damage to domain-4, the root and foundation of the incarnation, is the most profound problem that can occur in any nativity.
Shortage of Basic psycho-emotional recognition:
Long-term relationship appears unsustainable because Male radix Moon on Meena-Kanya axis is not matched in female navamsha nodal axis or her navamsha lagna axis
Female radix Moon on Vrishabha -Vrischika axis is also not matched in Male navamsha nodal axis nor his navamsha lagna axis
This coupling does not offer the deeper level of emotional comfort and recognition that sustains longer-term unions.
Other matching points in the pairing :
There are other matches which provide attraction and emotional engagement, but not enough for a lasting marriage
e.g., female radix Moon matches male radix Rahu-Ketu axis. This is not a stable connection but it does suggest an intense emotional challenge that can force awareness of passions and desires and ultimately improve self-knowledge . However it would be foolish to ignore the trauma embedded in the Male's Kuja/Shani/Rahu complex into which the female's Moon inserts itself as a match for his Ketu. This is murky psychological water, not a solid foundation for a conventional marriage.
also Male's navamsha Rahu-Ketu-Moon do match female's navamsha lagna. The male found this female to be attractively beautiful, due to his intuitive (D-9) connection to her navamsha Shukra. Again, a good degree of psycho-emotional interest and engagement, but without the key radix Moon match there is not enough deep comfort and stability.
Key feature of this relationship: Rajasic Imbalance causing "Comfort Fighting"
This couple participate in western liberal culture where marriage is an optional lifestyle decision. In this social culture, individuals may enjoy a series of monogamous romantic relationships over the period of a full lifetime. Such a lifestyle is normal and culturally supported.
Over a lifetime of romantic relationships, including a marriage, the male developed a pattern of bonding spousally with women who engaged him in verbally & sometimes physically violent arguments.
These females were raised in families where the parents fought violently, with words or bodies or both. These women sought the familiarity and emotional validation of long-simmering angry conflict in their adult relationships with this male native. No one is ever seriously hurt in these fights but the sound volume is quite high!
The male by contrast was raised in a quiet, severely repressed, intellectual, elite family environment with highly educated parents. His family-of-origin culture involved no overt violence either between the parents nor between parents and children. The parents however ruled with an iron hand. He is quiet and reflective by nature, even somewhat taciturn. He had no conscious expectation of violent conflict in his marital relations.
The male reports that when the fighting-mood overtakes his female partners, he will generally refuse to engage with them; he will walk out. In fact, such "walking out" on compulsively unhealthy communications was one of the leading causes of this and several of his other final separations.
Yet the intense Kuja Dosha continues to attract highly Rajasic energy in all of his female partners.
L-4/L-9 Kuja + L-6/L-7 Shani + Rahu
Kuja = lord of Trimshamsha and empowered in D-30 (see D-30 below)
Female looking for Kuja partner
This female seeks a male-partner who is a "verbal fighter" (Kuja.Mithuna) and for whom some verbal and perhaps a dose of physical competitive aggression is a component of the subconsciously expected sexual validation response.
The relationship dynamic revolved around vigorous and detailed (Mithuna) mental arguing and pursuing the conflict until she is physically exhausted. However the female perceives herself as a "truth-loving" and "intensely honest" person who has some obligation to "force out the truth" from her partners.
She acknowledges that her behaviors to stimulate conflict, but only in productive and truth-urgent healing ways.
Abandoning the relationship
In the end, both partners became frustrated with diminishing returns from endless, repetitive verbal and physical conflict.
The male's trauma was so deeply impacted that the female could not "force out" the truth, and the female's need for constant warfare in the intimate sexual-conversational marriage dynamic (Kuja/Mithuna/domain-7) began to exhaust the male's reserves.
In the end, the lack of fundamental recognition along the two partner's Chandra-Navamsha axes made a longer-term relationship unsustainable.
Classic Rebound?
A larger study of classic western cultural "rebound" relationships might expose a broader pattern of this type: partners attracted to each other via some type of vigorous healing dynamic (in this case, the fighting), but lacking the longer-term emotional-comfort structure that allows a couple to "settle in" to a deeper commitment.
The female's radix boasts a strong Mithuna Mangala in yuvati bhava, suggesting that she is constitutionally somewhat adversarial in relationship, and she subconsciously expects her male partner to show strong warrior energy too - most of it verbal, due to lord Budha.
Mars in her navamsha is both tightly oppressed by Shani and widely liberated by Guru, in the same passive-aggressive construction Shani/Guru that we see rising in her radix. This otherwise friendly and attractive person will occasionally "erupt" into open conflict with the spouse.
This female is educated, adventurous, artistically gifted (parivartana yoga of uccha Shukra, uccha Chandra), world-traveled, and intellectually philosophical. However, she has a highly rajasic constitution, due to the Rahu/Kuja aspect upon her radix lagna.
The impacted Mars/Jupiter/Saturn yoga in her navamsha suggests that she will tend to seek male partners who are skillful, liberal and philosophical, but also somewhat Saturnine -- then evoke in them a covert or buried aggression that only she knows how to manipulate!
Trimshamsha give Male some Kuja & Chandra Problems
Male's trimshamsha or Divisional-30th chart shows Kuja (Mars) exceptionally empowered as D-30 lagnesha.
In this life, Mars has the capacity to bring this native much misfortune in those bhavas which Mars might aspect or occupy, especially during periods of Rahu or Kuja.
Kuja is life-destroying by nature. Angaraka-deva is associated with warrior energy and fighting (in the battlefield, on the street, and in the home), and also with natural and therapeutic abortions.
Rahu/Ketu dominate Chandra in trimshamsha, suggesting that emotionally unreliable, addictive, or volatile females may enter the male's life for catastrophic/healing purposes.
Since Chandra = L-12 radix and Chandra occupies domain-8 in radix, the effect of the emotional over-stimulation from females is hidden in the male's private life. The public (including his own family) is not apprised of his troubles.
Female partner in this relationship has an especially strong but somewhat dysfunctional Kuja position, highly inauspicious for a female in yuvati bhava of radix in 6/8 angle from his lord Budha while Budha himself is compromised in a 2/12 angle to his lord Shani, and yuti a weakened Makara Sun.
Rahu-Kuja Attract Male into this Partnership
In the native's own radix we see Kuja in radix impacted with two great enemies Rahu and Shani, but Kuja owns the sign. These angry combatants terrorize the child house-5, making children highly unlikely in this native's life. He will therefore be attracted to sterile females.
Kuja further aspects his radix house 8,11, and 12 - making matters of 8th (assets of spouse), 11th (achievement) and 12th (animosity/lying of spouse) all highly adversarial.
Timing of relationship for Male:
begin commitment = Surya/Rahu period
Rahu is the famous marriage-maker giving intense psychic attraction-repulsion energy
Rahu is yuti Kuja who gives the repressed anger that leads to aggressive, relationship-ending arguments - he was subconsciously attracted to his covert force
end commitment = Surya/Shukra period.
Shukra is exalted, with lagnesha Chandra.
Although we see Chandra is troublesome because of Soma's Rahu/Ketu connection in Trimshamsha, separation was amicable and mutually supportive through influence of civilized Venus.
Note it's quite common for life-phases including the relationships which support them to conclude during the final bhukti of a mahadasha.
Rahu-Surya Attract Female into this Partnership
Female was childless and as-yet unmarried at onset of this committed partnership.
A bhukti of L-7 navamsha Shani plus Rahu/Ketu transit to marriage axes would have been required to give her a marriage. No bhukti of Shani occurred during this partnership.
begin commitment = Guru/Surya, where Surya is Rahu's lord and therefore Surya gives results of Rahu.
end commitment = Guru/Rahu, when her intense attraction to a foreign religious community [Rahu/dharma-9, drishti of Guru] overwhelmed her interest in marriage - and she abandoned the partnership
Similarly to the male, female concluded this significant relationship during the final bhukti of a mahadasha.
Similarly to the male, female concluded this significant relationship during the final bhukti of a mahadasha.
Future prospects for marriage of these ex-partners:
Female:
Subsequent Shani/L-7 navamsha Shani period brought the mid-life (Shani) commitment she expected.
Male:
Male entered a second-marriage type partnership during Chandra/Budha period where Budha = L-7 navamsha AND Rahu/Ketu moved into marriage-making Kanya/Meena axis.
The second marriage female partner is lovely, gracious, and compassionately humanistic. The couple occupy a respected, even beloved, place in their community.
They enjoy wealth and friendship - everything we would expect from the auspice of Guru occupying the radix AND navamsha 2nd-houses which shows prosperity and high religion.
However, male rejects legal marriage, due to L-2 Surya's complex debility in D-1 and D-9:
compromised in radix Kumbha & dusthana house-8, lorded by enemy Shani
rajasic drishti of Mars which gives kuja dosha
compensating drishti of Guru, which gives faith
Surya fallen in 8th navamsha
This new relationship seems to lack confidence (Surya-power) .
May all beings venerate life as a state of deep spiritual intimacy.
updated: 30 August 2008
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