Marriage and the Moon - Barbara Pijan Lama Jyotisha Vedic Astrology

Marriage and the Moon

Nakshatra Chandra positions should be coordinated & compatible to ensure long-lasting union.

Good alignment of Nakshatra Chandra does not promise a fairy-tale marriage free of disappointment, disagreement, or delusion. However when the Moon's nakshatra is compatible between the partners, there is a fundamental shared emotional orientation.

The psycho-emotional self-image is deeply - and normally less than consciously -- shaped by the Moon's nakshatra.

This self-image is expressed rather instinctively as a basic drive to achieve a state of well-being.

The state of well-being occurs when one has arrived in a particular validating life condition.

Examples:

For Bharani, when one feels respected.
For Krittika, when one can dominate and nourish.
For Rohini, when one feels desired.
For Swati, when one feels free to move.
For Jyestha, when one detects proof of supremacy achieved, being believed by one's followers to be true & correct.
For Shravana, whenever one can confirm that one is held in high regard by positive public opinion.
For Uttarabhadrapada, when one feels assured that one has secured a firm foundation for the present lifetime.

The emotional self-image seeks validation in partnership with Other. The "engine" of subconscious emotional need expressed through the Moon's nakshatra shapes one's beliefs regarding who one is in the deepest sense.

This unconscious belief that one is alive for a very personal purpose, in turn controls the choices one makes in the quest for emotional satisfaction.

These choices shape the route one takes to find one's place in the world.

Good friendships and business partnerships also require a fundamental alignment of Soma nakshatra to assure long-term similarity of instinct, and the subconsciously driven psychology which interprets what is "real" in the outside world. (I.e., Maya!)

Nakshatra provide 27 distinctive types of psycho-emotional motivation, characterized as a Deep Need to achieve the satisfaction (however fleeting) of feeling a particular way, of knowing that one has "arrived" into the configuration most harmonious and nourishing to the inner impetus.

Each of the 27 Nakshatra being divided into 4 pada (quarters), the result is 108 profiles of the emotional need which drives the native toward one's destiny - the feeling of having "arrived".

Some public figure marriages which demonstrate longevity attributable to Nakshatra alignment:

George H.W. Bush "Sr." = Chitra and Mrs. Barbara Bush = Mrigashira - both in Nakshatra of Kuja
Martin Luther King, Jr. = Purvabhadrapada; Coretta Scott King = Purvabhadrapada (see the extensive analysis of the King's marriage in Light on Relationships) - both in Nakshatra of Guru

Matching Chandra Rashi

The single most crucial radix element that needs to be matched in a spouse's navamsha is the native's Moon.

If the native's radix Moon axis is matched by spouse's

navamsha lagna (either sign on the lagna axis)
navamsha nodes (either node)
navamsha moon

then it is relatively easy, socially, to compensate for other lack of recognition from the spouse by bonding with friends or siblings to get the "missing" parts of total personal validation.

It's a truism that no one can receive full validation from their spouse alone. Everyone needs a network of second-and-third tier supporters who love different parts of their friend, parent, child, or colleague - the folks who "fill in the gap" of love and appreciation that can't be provided by the spouse.

However, a happy marriage does provide the majority of emotional and spiritual support to the native. If the native's Moon finds a good match in the spouse's navamsha, then the supplemental lovers - the parents, children, friends, colleagues, students, and neighbors - can "fill in the gap" just fine. The native has a good marriage in the center of a supportive community network.

But if there is no Moon-matching in the spouse's navamsha, the marriage does not hold the center. The native may remain married for duty performance purposes but there is inadequate spousal recognition, a "loveless marriage". The native will be forced to get all of his/her validation from the support network - which usually means excessive dependence on relatives or career to "fill in the gap" of affection, appreciation, and approval.

If the radix Moon is not "matched" the native remains emotionally invisible to his or her spouse, and this lack of core psycho-emotional bond is too frustrating and painful to sustain. See divorce-8 for example of un-validated female Moon, a case of wife remaining emotionally invisible to her husband, throughout a difficult marriage.

Moon balance between the two radix nativities

One mutual Moon angle between the two radix Moons that is usually highly problematic is the 6/8 angle. 6/8 Moons very rarely work in partnership, unless there is extremely strong matching between the two natives' navamsha-to-radix positions. 6/8 is animosity.

When comparing two radix charts, see the public face of the two people. A couple with major mutual animosity in public life could conceivably have a good private relationship, but it's unlikely.

2/12 Moons don't work well in the first marriage

Yet this could be a satisfactory angle for a second marriage where the partner who has the 12 moon remains somewhat mysterious & withdrawn while the partner with the 2 moon is outward oriented, verbal, and rich.

If this inner/outer dynamic meets the 2nd marriage psychic expectations, e.g. they coordinate with the 2nd-from-Moon and 2nd-from-lagna signs for the respective partners, the 2nd marriage expectations may be met with 2/12 moons.

This couple will never present a united front but often a second marriage does not need to carry the burden of social performance in the way that a first marriage does. In a first marriage the couple must coordinate their behavior publicly on very important choices like children, extended family, finance, and religion.

Second marriages are often somewhat disengaged from the main performance items of producing a family, building an estate, and fulfilling public expectations because these items were completed in the first marriage.

Everything depends on the individual nativities, as to whether a 2/12 radix Moon angle will "work" for an individual second marriage or not. But in general if the main public responsibilities were completed in the first marriage then 2/12 moons can often succeed in the second.

All other radix moon-to-moon angles - 1/1, 1/7, 3/11, 4/10, and 5/9 are in general favorable for presenting a unified front to the world.

Thanks for your quick assessment of emotional compatibility matching for me and my current love interest. You are right, he is not very responsive to me.

We've been dating for over a year and he sees to not be getting any deeper into the relationship. I feel like I have to push him to have deep conversations, and even though we are monogamous he doesn't seem to be interested in longer-term future visions for us as a couple.

I am ultimately looking for marriage, so just so I am clear on the best matches for me, when you say that I should look for someone with their " Vedic moon" in Leo, Aquarius, Aries or Libra does that refer to what people usually say is their "zodiac" sign -- meaning their birthday falls on a date associated with that particular zodiac sign.

Or is the " Vedic moon" position reflective of their rising sign (associated with the time of birth on a given time in a given city)?

BTW I read your Matching Up Energy and Marriage Conflict pages - thanks!

Namaste:

What I am referring to as a gauge of psycho-emotional compatibility in marriage is the "Sidereal Sign of the Moon".

Unfortunately, "what people usually say is their "zodiac" sign " (especially in "dating" culture) is not a reliable indicator of anything in relationships. They usually mean the tropical position of their Sun on their birthday, which has nothing to do with relationships!

What I am calling the "Vedic Moon" = the sign, or rashi, of the person's Moon in their *Jyotisha* astrological natal chart. It is necessary to know the person's birth date, birth place, and birth time in order to set up the Jyotisha chart. (Jyotisha is the historic Sanskrit name for the system called "Vedic Astrology" in the West.)

"Rashi" = zodiacal sign
"Chandra" or "Soma" = Moon

Be careful, the boundaries of the 12 zodiacal signs are different in Jyotisha! You must look for the *sidereal, astronomical sign*! That requires calculating the Vedic chart - can't be looked up in tropical-style western astrology books! (Unfortunately it is likely that no text in a popular Western bookstore or public library will have this information. You really have to buy Jyotisha software or find free Jyotisha software or ask a working Jyotishi.)

Serious Compatibility Assessment requires More than Moon's Rashi

Jyotisha has a complex system of weights & measures for assessing marriage compatibility.

*One* of the factors in traditional compatibility assessment is the rashi of the Moon. Other important factors include the nakshatra of the Moon and various esoteric measurements including dosha & guna etc.

If you get to the point of intuitively considering marriage with a person, you will already know how you feel about them. Then, if you are motivated to receive confirmation of your intuition, you can ask a practicing Jyotishi to do the full assessment.

It's usually not worth going through the assessment process unless you are very strongly attracted to the person. In India where most marriages are still arranged by the parents, the parents often have the assessments done for potential mates for their children. But the sad fact is that *money* is the most important trait in potential partners, so it's a bit of a "show of concern" over there too.

A simple, first-pass Moon-Match Method

One simple gauge that I use -- that doesn't involve the whole complex system of weights-and-measures -- is to

find the rashi of the moon (you can do this on some free Jyotisha chart calculation websites)
match the rashi of the beloved's Moon to the rashi's of your (a) navamsha lagna (b) navamsha axis of Rahu-Ketu
if there is a rashi match on both sides (his Moon-to-her-navamsha, her Moon-to-his-navamsha), the couple understand each other psycho-emotionally
(this process also works with same-gender unions, disregarding English gendered pronouns!)
partner-1's radix moon mapped to partner-2's navamsha lagna or nodes *and vice- versa" gives a very good start toward compatible marriage.

I know this is already too complicated because you are not a practitioner of Jyotisha. But what I am talking about is something specific to Jyotisha, that is not connected to western tropical astrology, is not "what people usually say is their "zodiac" sign", and must be done with Indian-style Jyotisha calculations.

I am glad that my viewpoint helped to confirm your intuition about your current partnership. If you are looking for a marriage partner, it might be beneficial to meditate on your true readiness for and openness to marriage. IMO, 99% of the time, your intuition is a better (and cheaper) guide than any astrological calculations!

Sincerely, Barbara

May all beings venerate life as a state of deep spiritual intimacy.

updated: 24 June 2010

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