Generally, marriage is a good thing - thus the (first)
spouses are represented most definitively by the two Great Benefics - Guru and
Shukra.
These D-1-to-D-9 links show the issues on which you two
partners are spiritually working together. Traits which are dormant or subordinate in
partner-1 will be alive or dominant in partner-2. Thus each partner
"mirrors" the other's arising consciousness, and facilitates spiritual
growth by evoking astral imagery into real world action.
The navamsha reveals
traits, desires, hopes, dreams, fears, etc. which are dormant but trying to rise
into consciousness in your life.You find the partner who is already acting
these out in the material world. You are intensely attracted to this
person; they are everything you admire, everything you crave, everything you
want to be. This person completes you; expresses you; forms your
"other half".
Examine each house in Navamsha
from the appropriate partner lagna to know the level of your soul that is just now
moving from subconscious to conscious. We usually need
partners to bring out this new personality growth in us. (Even if that
partner is the ishtadevata.)
size="3"> Ask any good
Buddhist: if you are intensely attracted to something now, rest assured you will be
intensely repulsed by that same thing in the future!
A significant part of the
"work" of marriage is learning to manage the cycles of desire and
contempt one feels toward one's partner over long periods of time.
All marriages are timed by
Rahu-Ketu,
which means that all marriages involve attraction-repulsion.
-
In a love marriage, you personally are attracted
and (later) repulsed - typically by the psycho-emotional qualities of
the partner.
-
In an arranged marriageyour guardians are
attracted-repulsed - typically by the social-material qualities of the
partner.
But in either case Desire (which eventually boomerangs to
Contempt) plays a major karmic role in Marriage. The karmic forces behind marriage are so strong that it seems not to
matter much whether one "chooses" one's mate through
"falling" in love -- or allows that mate to be chosen by one's social
guardians.When it is time for the karmic partner to find you, they will
find you!
It
is often observed in modern India, where arranged marriages remain fairly
common, that the success rate of Arranged marriages Approximately equals
the success rate of "love marriages."That is, about 50%
of marriages are satisfying; 50% problematic - regardless of whether they are
romantic or arranged.
The big-picture view is that,
no matter what social mechanism selects
the mate, we will all create (through impetus of samskara) a spouse/series of spouses who perfectly match our karmic
job description :)
The big-picture view is that,
no matter what social mechanism selects
the mate, we will all create (through impetus of samskara) a spouse/series of spouses who perfectly match our karmic
job description :)
Yoked Work:
Maintaining
the Intention to Reach Agreement
Successful Marriage requires
discipline, self-knowledge, and moral effort. Marriage can only survive when there is Agreement on how to conduct the division of
karmic labor. The higher the agreement
level, the easier the partnership.
-
Physical work:not only doing
the labor, but agreeing on how to do it, requires constant attention.
-
Spiritual work:
For those who feel ready to accept the austerity,
marriage can be a high-speed vehicle toward consciousness.
There is never
perfect agreement (as long as humans have egos, anyway) and so There is never an effortless marriage.
Whom will I marry?
Know who is
"The One" by knowing one's own purpose.
If your seventh radix, seventh navamsha, 7th-from-Moon, and
Venusare agreeable to marriage,
then you will marry the person WHOM YOU CREATE in your quest to to reach
the next step in your search for the divine.
Fully
knowing You - in all your terrible beauty - is a quite effective way of exposing
the presence of That Which Dwells Within.
And who better to expose you :)
than your spouse?
It's their job.
If either partner is significantly traumatized,
marriage can be a completely unconscious, reactive dramatization of subconscious
motives during which very little self-knowledge or movement toward realization of
the divine takes place.
Since most people are pretty heavily traumatized,
unconscious marriage is unfortunately the norm.
These missing parts are the aspects of personality about which we are
"missing" important information, of which we lack recognition - until
the partner through feedback reveals that information.
By marriage I mean the religious not the legal
definition. Religious marriage is a spiritual union made sacred through
speaking a vow.
The marriage partner has a unique combination of good/bad
-easy/difficult traits that are designed to both comfort and disturb.
The comfort is from similar hopes and dreams, habits
and pleasures. The disturbing factor is "matching
energy" - matching pain, matching anxiety, similar childhood trauma,
etc.
Psychologically, "The One" is a personality that
has many of The most difficult, conflicted, or inaccessible traits of your
most difficult parent.Most people have the most trouble during the
childhood interaction with their opposite-gender parents.
As a general
rule, women have more trouble with their fathers
and men have more trouble with their mothers.
Yet some men have more
trouble with their fathers and some women have more work to do with their
mothers.
And some folks are raised in communal settings, by religious orders, or
in other parenting arrangements that are not so easy to identify the
gender-reaction patterns.
Past lives, which are stored in the subconscious, do play a
role in childhood relationships with parents and caregivers.
Vocation
Profession Social Rank of Spouse
Public reputation, social rank, and leadership position of the (first) spouse
would be profiled through a combination of these items, probably in this order
of importance:
-
spouse's
material prestige and profession = 10th-from-Shukra (for male) or
10th-from-Guru (for female)
-
spouse's public standing in terms of
emotional
affection from friends and social community =
10th-from-7th-from-Chandra = 4th-from-Chandra (this placement is not about
material power or high respect; it is about public appreciation and
affection)
-
a more general indication of the spouse's professional
role on the material plane, and some details of the
economic
sector in which the spouse participates professionally, can be seen
through the 4th rashi from radix lagna, and the lord of bandhu bhava. (for
example if L-4 is with Rahu, spouse may handle taboo or exotic materials, do
recycling, or work for foreign interests. If L-4 is a compromised Shani, the
work many is rudimentary or rough, such as agriculture. If L-4 is uchcha
Shukra, the spouse may be a professional musician. Etc.)
-
the dignity that one gives to one's own spouse, or the
respect that one feels toward one's
own spouse = 4th navamsha. (Occasionally, thisattitude is
better revealed through the 10th navamsha.) Examine the character ofnavamsha
L-4vis-à-vis navamsha 4th house. (E.g., ifwithin the
navamsha, the L-4 occupies 6/8 from swakshetra, one might feel some contempt
or disregard for the professional role of the spouse.)
All of this information can be read from one's own nativity.
Alternative Sexual Orientation Unions" A
lternative
Sexual Orientation Unions
Certainly the lines between gay vs. straight marriages are increasing
blurred as modern societies move out of survival urgency, and sex-role divisions
of labor fade into history...
Yet, in these early years of the second millennium,
it is generally the case that
-
a majority of women experience greater emotional
difficultly connecting with their father,
-
and conversely majority of men
experience greater emotional difficultly connecting with their mother.
In order
to continue their most significant spiritual work And break through their most
challenging inner barriers, most women desire marriage to men, and most men to
women. This gender-conventional attraction pattern is the most direct method of revealing and healing their childhood trauma
with the opposite-gender parent.
Which parent is "needs work"?
But what if the greater difficulty, blocked emotional
access, negligence, lack of expected guidance and nurturing, even physical
abuse, is linked with the same-gender parent? Then, it is more likely that the subconscious
will direct the native into a same-gender relationship.
Men involved with men, and women involved with women, follow the same
psycho-spiritual logicof attracting a spouse who mirrors that
comfortable-but-oh-so-frustrating energy of The more difficult parent(including
difficulty caused by absence).
In these intimate relationships, the most difficult parent will hail from
the same gender. These natives need to cross their inner fear barriers -
barriers constructed in the subconscious which greatly limit freedom and
happiness in the conscious life - by getting their healing information from the mirror
of a same-gender spouse.
Natives who follow a pattern of both straight and gay
unions within one lifetime, are similarly recoveringessential but
currently missing self-knowledgethat was
originally sought from both parents, alternately.
Natives raised by
same-gender parental couples, composed of two men or two women in life partnership, will
probably have the same results as children historically raised by
mother-grandmother /father-grandfather or two-sister/two brother pairs; that is,
one will seek a spouse who mirrors whichever parent-partner was more complex or
difficult.
Sex of the spouse will tend toward the sex of the difficult
parent as in conventional unions, but at this point in the logic we need to be
able to distinguish between sex and gender.
a name="How to Know Who You're Going to Marry">How
to Know Who You're Going to Marry
The psycho-spiritual purpose of marriage is to work
out the problems one had, in childhood, with the more-difficult parent.
If you are looking for a marriage partner, it is fairly
straightforward to define who that person is and when you might be ready to
receive them into your life.
Just be honest
about your struggle to achieve complete emotional access to and validationfrom
your more difficult parent.
If you can define that struggle, you can
define your next spouse!
Sugar and Vinegar
Marriage is "yoked" sugar and vinegar. The
sugar comes first, but the sugar is designed to seduce you with shared hopes
and dreams, and extract from you a commitment. The sugar is soon joined
by the vinegar. The vinegar is spiritually essential! The higher purpose of
marriage - which is healing - is only possible to achieve if the vinegar is
present!
There must be pain, confrontation, disappointment, and grief in
marriage... if there weren't, there would be no motive for the native to examine
their subconsciously driven reactions. Only by examining our reactions can the
hidden holdings of the subconscious be exposed.
The struggle to heal deeper pain and experience higher
freedom will go to phase-2 in your first marriage,
phase-3 in your second marriage, and so forth. The struggle for one lifetime
might start and finish within a
single marriage (check palm lines to confirm). However the full healing
endeavor can easily entail 2, 3 or more marriages in the modern era. The
healing process can also go from gay
to straight unions, and vice versa.
If you know your own healing agenda well enough, you'll be able to spot
that next spouse at 500 yards.