Prospective First Marriage: Is Now the Time?

Q:

I have been dating a woman for a couple of years and am now feeling like we know each other well enough to get married. However it's interesting how my feelings have changed over the past few months.

Last year (2007) she seemed so perfect to me, almost like a doll.

This year (2008) I am starting to see that she might be a bit more complex and moody than I realized - but I still would like to get married, I think?

I don't know how to express this exactly but I am feeling a little spooked.

Maybe she just reminds me too much of my mother!

• On the one hand, this relationship I am in now feels very important and fortunate.

• On the other hand, I am feeling nervous.

Is this natural pre-marriage jitters or am I sensing something hidden that merits my caution?

A :

Well, yes, I can see that you might feel a little "spooked"!

Surya/Shukra

The lovely but uncommitted period of Surya/Shukra L-7+L-12(the dating year 2007) which indicates a private, sensual relationship without contractual obligations (Ketu in 7) has finished.

The more psychologically and emotionally intense period of Chandra/Chandra has started!

Chandra/Chandra

Chandra is lord of auspicious bhava-9 but Chandra is also the Kharesha.Shani in bhava-8 will give you a long life so we are not too worried about a fatality coming from the period of the Kharesha, but there is probably some hidden psychological agenda the current intimate partner which is rising to the surface of consciousness now.

You are exceptionally intuitive with the remarkable psychic sensitivities granted by Chandra/Rahu in Nakra lagna. Listen to your intuition to find out what is unsettling and why you feel "spooked".

Kharesha in lagna

When the Kharesha is rising, the native experiences radical forced transformation of the marriage due to a sudden personality change in the spouse or a sudden revelation of problems within the spouse's family. You or your parents may detect a threat of exploitation from the spouse's family.

Shani in bhava-8

Shani in bhava-8 of your radix chart indicates that your spouse contributes much less money into the marriage joint accounts than you do (typical when the spouse comes from a less wealthy family than the native , compare to G.W. Bush). Shani in bhava-8 gives "in-law karma" = heavy responsibilities for taking care of the partner's parents.

Rahu-Ketu

Not to mention, at the end of April 2008, Rahu-Ketu have moved into the navamsha lagna AND entered their natal navamsha axis too!

Rahu-Ketu returns will force a major upheavalin the psychic personality, usually in the context of the demands of an intimate relationship. The current Chandra/Chandra period combined with trigger transit of Rahu-Ketu to the navamsha lagna/nodes certainly is a recipe for marriage. But the Kharesha may be giving you second thoughts.

Jyestha Moon

With a Jyestha Moon in lagna yuti Rahu, you need a great deal of control in your relationships (actually, in everything) so this degree of unsettling of your personal space -- really allowing another person into the intimate realms of your life -- is undoubtedly "spooky".

Chandra is of course karaka for the Mother. Your Mother is a defining influence in your personality and life choices, and really so is your father because Chandra is also L-9.

Relationship between Mother and First Wife?

A:

Rahu + Chandra in Jyestha Nakshatra indicates a controlling, adventurous, self-directed mother, who might also be a bit of a know-it-all. This placement suggests that your mother will through her control of you and your core self-image also control your marriage relationship. The mother will not enjoy losing her authoritative position in your life, and indeed she will fight to maintain moral and emotional control.

During Moon period 2007-2017 this controlling and spiritually advanced feature of your personality is particularly strong. The wife will probably handle your psychological control agenda by withdrawing into her own head and creating a territory in the home which is the wife's impenetrable bubble.

The wife is better at politics and business entertainingL-7 = Shukra/Simha/bhava-10).

The mother is better at understanding psychology and handling people on an individual basis (L-9, Jyestha).

They are like oil and water, which cannot mix well but coexist just fine at two parallel levels.

Your parents are strong-willed, self-knowing, and manipulative

Your parents both have strong psychic lineage and they operate through you and strengthen you. The wife is not much self-knowing (Ketu/7) and she can be controlled by those who have stronger intentions.

She may not "fit in" with the more intense members of your family. (Rule of Jyotisha reflecting the Law of Nature: bhava-7 is always an inauspicious shad-ashtaka 6-8 anglefrom the native 's family history, bhava-2.)

None of this is anything to worry about, since your heart is pure and so is your mother's. Everyone involved here is good folks.

The wife is a relatively weaker personality

Your nativity shows Ketu in the 7th house = your wife's personality is much beholden to the shaping forces of outside interests. The wife is very idealistic in her view of marriage and of her husband. She may be able to generate a largely imaginary and very noble description of you which she uses to support her social reputation. However in the real day-to-day personal marital interactions, she may feel mentally unstable or distracted by her own thoughts. She may be perfectly happy in her own world but she is not successfully connected to you. She will have a good social presentation because L-7 = Shukra/10.

Usually when a man has Rahu in the radical lagna he is an ambitious fellow with a high opinion of himself, and he willingly accepts praise. So you may be happy with her praising behaviors and perhaps not require any deeper emotional or psychological intimacy. Ketu in 7 does not harm the sexual interactions.

Your mother - whether in her body or operating though you astrally - will take good care of everyone, in her own strong-willed and occasionally volatile way. Your mother is a good person.

Mom is a VERY strong character, of medical lineage, and that intense prophetic critical priestly lineage runs right through you too. As it runs through you, it controls the weaker personality of the wife. It is a protective, strengthening sort of control that can be manipulative psychologically but the intent is never to harm, always to protect.

• Will you marry?

• Only if and when your parents approve.

Even though you are not from an arranged marriage culture, I believe your parents will need to express their approval before you will feel settled about this marriage. Your mother needs to have things settled by her, according to her logical assertions about what is good for you and what isn't. It sounds like you have not consulted your parents yet and intuitively, you may suspect that they will not approve.

My first recommendation would be to introduce your partner to your parents.

That is your biggest fear, I would guess, looking at the condition of Chandra.

We would have to see the nativity for your beloved herself, to determine whether she is also experiencing a bhukti which is favorable for marriage.

Your own near-term marriage periods are:

• Chandra/Chandra with Rahu-Ketu in Makara-Karka = May-Oct, 2008

• Chandra/Rahu with Rahu-Ketu in Makara-Karka = May-Oct, 2009

• Chandra/Shani with Rahu-Ketu in Kanya-Meena = Oct-2015 until Jan-2016.

Children?

• Two children may be born to you, during the period of Moon/Jupiter, Nov 2010 until March 2012.

Ketu in bhava-7 - always a problem?

A:

Yes, Ketu in bhava-7 for the marriage partners and business partners can be problematic if the expectations are inappropriately high. If expectations are set at a realistic level, all can be well.

Ketu's distancing could be manifest in an age gap, but more typically it is a religion/custom/culture gap. The partners have two different views of the world, sets of operating beliefs and assumptions, so negotiating a shared emotional life is a major challenge.

You will compensate for the gap by parenting the spouse. Chandra in lagna gives you have a strong urge to nurture and protect.

The wife's career?

The wife's career based in the home (10th-from-7th). It could be something like multi-level marketing or a party-based concept selling endeavor, of very limited stability, and she does not contribute much money to the joint assets of marriage (Shani in bhava-8+ L-8 Budha "dissolves" in bhava-12).

However your home is full of people all the time (Guru-Kumbha-4) and also the home is rather large (Guru) and full of electricity (Kumbha), probably a lot of computers or electronic devices.

The wife is more interested in socializing and entertaining of groups (Guru-Kumbha)while you are more of an intense interpersonal type (Chandra yuti Rahu in Nakra lagna). You need seclusion to develop your powerful intuitions into teachings and healing energy.

You have the superior position(Chandra in Jyestha) and the marriage will go your way. The wife is attractive and a gracious entertainer (L-7 = Shukra/Simha/10 with drishti from Guru). However she is detached from your worldview (Ketu/7).

However she is happy to promote your interests since her own are not well-formed (plus side of Ketu). She admires your focus despite having little of her own. She is perfectly intelligent but energetically dispersed, cannot concentrate on a single tasks (Ketu), must immerse into groups. No hostility, but definitely a perceptual mismatch.

This is not a show-stopper and does not indicate divorce, simply a gulf in understanding. Similar for business partners. Always have your own business, partnership in commerce is too frustrating, lacks a common basis. But you do very well on your own.

Old age?

Life span ends approx mid-70's. Past age 68 is dominated by Jupiter. Guru Mahadasha= mainly about family life, passing along the values you have come to believe are important lineage wealth for your offspring, and creative pursuits such as attending large social celebrations and electronic publications of your writings.

Very happy time surrounded by family with a large network of friendly associations and pleasant home life.

May all beings venerate life as a state of deep spiritual intimacy.