Marriage & Remarriage  

Un amor, una aventura, compañía para un viaje.

 Studies:  marriage charts, for long & short partnerships

"Love starts when manipulation stops." ~~ Dr. Joyce Brothers

What is "Love"?

Love is an extremely simple & ultimately powerful energy which must be "discovered" in the modern world because the veils of materialism have obscured it. 

• Some of this Love experience would appear to be very deeply karmic. It hurts!

• However the result of developing one's capacity to Love will be extremely positive and beneficial in every single lifetime.

• That knowledge gained through struggle to understand Love is the pearl of great price. "Precious!"

The native will fight - and win - a lifelong battle to Recognize the greater reality of Love. 

Every other graha competes for the native's attention. Some grahas are functioning in the current lifetime to work against the native's chance for discovering Love

1. Shani's focus on material survival

2. Chandra's emotional need

3. Shukra's attraction to comfort & sensual pleasure

4. Kuja's physicality and competitiveness

5. Budha's mentalism

6. Rahu's constant yearning for the objects of passion & ambition.

7. Ketu's apathetic detachment

8. even Guru's expansive inclusiveness

All of these agendas work against the goals of Surya, who is the Center of Divine Love in Earth's system. (There are other centers in bigger systems of which Earth is a part, e.g. our Galactic Sun, but in our perception, Surya is the main center.)

Surya = Greatest Love

Surya (Kuja/Guru) represents the Greater Love. The greater love is not emotionally need-based and cannot be betrayed by loss, disdain or "cheating". The greater love is absolutely personal, and does not involve other humans. 

Quest for the greater love is fueled by a love of knowledge, a hunger for Truth, a deep and ceaseless Spiritual Desire. The Greatest Love is considered by philosophers (lovers of knowledge) to be the ultimate prize for humans. 

Chandra = Lesser but Essential Love

Chandra (Shukra/Shani) represents the Lesser Love. The lesser love is a sincere & genuine expression of human emotional need, cannot be disregarded or oppressed without emotional backlash. Humans need touch. Humans need security, protection, connection to a people and a place. Humans need mothering, sheltering, validation. 

These are basic needs of the material and astral bodies. If these needs are not met in childhood, then the native will remain "unconscious", chained to the Moon, and living in lifelong hunger for continuous sheltering, ego-reflective mother-approval.

Humans are Sun-Moon creatures. 

Each human must learn to consciously negotiate the Surya-Chandra dichotomy of "love" perceptions. It is essential to not confuse the two worlds, but rather to appreciate how Chandra reflects Surya, protecting humans from spiritual overload until our electrical circuitry is capable of handling the Greater Love intensity.

Love Intelligence

It is essential to learn to use the correct love tools in each appropriate Love World. 

• In interpersonal relationships with other sentient beings, the compassionate one attends to the realities of the lesser love. Provide approval, safety, and validation to loved ones. Respond with Human Care. 

• In partnership with the Divine, the compassionate one opens the heart as wide as possible to receive the inflow of brilliant creative spiritual energy. Respond with Divine Praise. 

Falling in Love versus Marriage

"Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it. " ~~ A Course In Miracles

• "Falling in love" (a function of putra bhava) is a Suraj-type ego-driven Idealization projection. 

• One sees the Other as a mirror reflection only of one's favorable (divine) traits. In the Idealized state, mirror-reflection of non-flattering or negative (non-divine) aspects of oneself are temporarily excluded due to Surya's instinct to see divine presence in the beloved.

• Persons who have married after "falling in love" will generally confirm that they "hoped" that their Idealized, divinized, heart-love state to continue forever. 

• Experienced persons will confirm that, after marriage vows are spoken, the power of the D-9 comes fully into play. After marriage vows, one does start to receive the Guru-driven D-9 "full view" of oneself from the spouse. 

Can the native move from the expectations developed under Surya in the idealized "falling in love" stage, toward an authentic Shukra-guided contractual marriage?

• There is a perceptual and expectations gap which must be bridged in order to move forward properly. 

That gap between the self-admiring, adolescent (5) projection of Suraj's divine intelligence vs. the balanced equality of Shukra's long-term partnering commitment is one of the reasons why "love marriage" is considered socially treacherous (and why parents, who have a track record of success in contractual partnership, are often charged with responsibility to arrange their child's marriage.)

Realistic expectations and goals for Modern Marriage

All nativities have patterns similar to yours - that is, there are no ideal marriages.  

• There is a generous amount of public denial of course; lots of people putting up a nice smooth social façade of "everything is fine" in their marriages!

• But looking honestly into modern marriage, whether first, second, or third, there will always be and indeed there *should* be plenty of negative mirroring and friction. 

The goal is *not* to manifest a marriage which has no growth potential and no dynamic energy for change - that is, a marriage free of individuality and conflict. A lock-down psychic stasis like that might have been an ideal in medieval society when the average life span was about 40 years and physical survival depended on people taking absolutely fixed social roles. But in these days of dwapara yuga, the main goal of marriage is to provide a sanctuary of mutual understanding and emotional support for two spiritually independent individuals. 

These two independent people choose to trust each other. Partners in trust can provide to each other a degree of social dignity and comfort, even while each partner continues to "work on their stuff". The "stuff" is mainly unresolved trauma from childhood. (For those with clairvoyant vision, it can be known as trauma from past lives.)

It is essential for the karmic process that one should maintain faith in the possibility of a balanced partnership. It is smart and emotionally healthy to persist in the practice of entering into human partnerships, being hurt, practicing forgiveness, being healed, and being hurt again.

Entering the intimate psychic and physical space of another person is often a painful karmic process, but it is also a spiritual privilege. To know the heart of another is to know the heart of the divine. Relationships are, indeed, the ultimate spiritual practice! And like all high-value spiritual practice, intimate partnership can feel both exhilarating and blissful, but also bitterly painful and difficult - at times.

To Whom - and to What - are we attracted?

Any spouse would have been known by the native for many, many past lives. 

When it is time to activate the joint past-life karma, attraction happens (usually via Venus or Rahu) and if Rahu is somehow associated with Venus or the marriage houses, there is a marriage. 

Whether "conventional" or "unusual" in configuration, marriages manifest past-life self-knowledge and this is very much to a purpose.

Attraction is all about Matching Energy.  We humans are attracted to Others who possess qualities we lack - but need and want - in order to psychically complete ourselves.  

These qualities may be "desirable" or negative or destructive.  Typically, the attraction is quite unconscious. One finds oneself suddenly "in love" with an apparently wonderful person, with whom one feels deeply validated, balanced, and complete.  

There is tangible soul recognition and mutual spiritual confirmation. 

The confirmation is not always a completely "positive" experience. However, even if there is negativity & tension in the love relationship, it is a comfortable, familiar sort of trouble that seems well-remembered, necessary, and just right.  

Whether positive or negative or an interesting mix, this combination of qualities to which we are so convincingly attracted is indeed the right match. Each human is on a mission to acquire the self-knowledge necessary to feel complete within ourselves.  We attract, and are attracted to, the partners with whom we have a past-life agreement to work together on this grand mission.

Direct knowledge of our own subconscious is, for most people, totally blocked.  

The only way most of us can find out what's really going on in that vast heap of past-life accrual called "Self"  is by watching our own thoughts, beliefs, and behaviors played out in the mirror of our relationship to Others.  

The most powerful of all Other-Mirrors is the marriage partner. Marriage is, for most people, the most demanding spiritual practice in life.

The affectionate relationship between an employer and employee (master and servant) and man and women (husband and wife) will be invariable and stable if they possess the same attributes.~~ BPHS Ch. 77, shloka 11

If the 7th bhava be without a planet (without strength) and without benefic aspect, the female born will have a coward and contemptible wretch for her husband.~~ BPHS Ch. 80, shloka 17-21

When the 7th bhava is a moveable rashi, the husband will always be away from home.~~ BPHS Ch. 80, shloka 17-21

Marriage is "Commitment Yoga"

Marriage - especially the first marriage - is represented in the radix chart by yuvati bhava, the 7th house.  "Yuvati" means "yoga" or "yoke".  

Marriage is the central yoga, the central balance point, the central control, & the central discipline, of the entire life. 

• Even the ordained celibate religious are "married" to their ishtadevata, the god of their heart. 

• Everyone has a primary "Other" - whether that "Other" is a fleshly spouse, a deceased spouse, a passionate ideal, or a spiritual spouse taken in holy vows of ordination.  

• Everyone is "yoked" on some level to a mirroring, judging, responding, participating partner.

Like any yoke - or yoga - marriage creates both stability and bondage. Whether the public union of marriage is experienced as a blessing or a curse depends on the condition of yuvati bhava, and its relationship to each of the other 11 houses of the radix chart. 

The marriage yoke binds "self" (lagna / ascendant) to "other" (7th house).  

(See bhava yoga page for more on yokes.)  

• Two partners enter the Yoke like two oxen.  After the yoke is on, they have to work together, pulling in the same direction.  

• If they don't, it hurts - and nothing gets accomplished.  

• If they do, a nice plowed field will manifest - and everybody, including the oxen, will flourish.

Marriage as a Public Contract

Despite the Euro-American romanticizing of marriage as a strictly personal, emotional decision, the Jyotisha view is that marriage is a very strategic choice which must be carefully considered in light of its future impact on the native's public standing.

Being 10th-from-10th, marriage is a critically important social status indicator. 

Social status is indicated in order of importance by: 

1. house-10 public authority & leadership role

2. house-7 (10th-from-10th) marriage status

3. house-4 (10th-from-10th-from-10th) property ownership

4. house-1 (10th-from-10th-from-10th-from-10th) physical appearance

Marriage conditions are of high significance in social ranking and personal dignity.  A strong marriage to a helpful, enthusiastic, appreciative partner can hugely assist career developments.  The spouse and (by extension of the signification of house-7) other peer partners in business and community life, can potentially double one's effect in the world, which increases the public recognition and approval defined in house-10.

A weak marriage house bodes poorly for the native's self-respect, and makes high levels of public approval fairly inaccessible.  And while a good 10th house might "trump" a bad 7th house, it's unlikely that the native with a severely damaged 7th house will be able to fully  ascend the ladder of social recognition no matter how excellent the characteristics of karmaa bhava.   

Unfinished marital business from past lives

Details of the private side of marriage are seen in navamsha, where the partners' subconscious expectations (residue of unfinished marital business in past lives) are exposed. 

• Without conscious intervention, subconscious marriage programming will play out naturally, as if the native were acting out a movie script.

• Whether marriage is a blessing or a curse depends a good deal on this navamsha script, and whether the native possesses critical consciousness necessary to "edit" the script in real time - i.e., while we are in the process of living it!  

Editing requires conscious use of "forgiveness" which is very demanding emotionally, and should only be attempted by those who have reached sufficient levels of spiritual development.

Marriage not a Commodity, Possession, Goal or Achievement (although it is promoted as one!)

• Sometimes I am asked to predict the timing of marriage.

• This is a fairly easy thing to do in Jyotisha, but I am uncomfortable doing it for clients who feel a great urgency to "get" married as a way of satisfying their parents' demands, or protecting themselves against social insecurity. 

The whole idea of "getting" married and the anxiety surrounding that process tends to disturb effective divination, because it deprives the native of their earth grounding.

Marriage Anxiety

Before attempting a marriage divination, I like to make sure the client recognizes what they are asking for.  Yes, they are asking for the timing of an event - and that is what Jyotisha does best! - but do they realize the significance of this event? How this event will change their life forever, in an often very difficult and angry way?

So, I usually counsel anyone anxious about marriage to note that despite intensive marketing of wedding products & our lifelong socialization to "get" married as a major status achievement, marriage is in fact not a fixed commodity. Marriage is, more than anything, a state of mind.

This seems to be an important level of awareness for many marriage-timing clients, particularly those with insecure, demanding parents. 

First of all, we are benefited to remember that guilt causes reactive confusion and resulting poor decisions. Embarking upon a marriage for the central purpose of to assuaging filial guilt will perpetuate the guilt in the marriage environment.  

Parents who push their children into marriage to alleviate their own social insecurity are compounding the marriage anxiety and making the astrologer's job hard to accomplish! 

The client who "needs to be married within the next year" in order to satisfy some social requirement (esp. parents) is likely to be entering a very low consciousness marriage, and to not be using their own healing agenda as a guide to choosing their marriage partner. 

Yes I can see the timing of this event, but I can also foresee the bitter consequences.  The client him/herself who demands marriage within a favorable time-and-money framework rather than allowing the spiritual healing agenda to dictate when they feel ready to take on a partner, is in "victim mode." Such a person feels that marriage is an uncontrollable experience which happens "to" one.

Nothing could be farther from the truth.

Secondly, anxiety about loneliness, inferior social status of single women, etc. are is also symptomatic of an unconscious marriage. Unless bare physical survival is at stake, I like to counsel clients to be aware that marriage will cause many more problems than it solves. 

These are good problems to have, of course - the problems of intimate healing, the problems of sharing the devastation of the cycle of birth and death with another being, the problems of vital and vigorous negotiation of identity, of meaning, of balance. Good problems to have.  

Having a wedding will not solve your problems. Having a wedding does create the possible conditions for healing, but at least in the short run being married simply compounds the scope and number of problems because there are two people's karma to manage now.  

I like to preface any anxious consultation about the timing of marriage with a rather sober lecture on taking responsibility for how this marriage unfolds, rather than hyperventilating with unbearable uncertainty about the calendar day of the ceremony.  

If it wasn't for the vow, which makes this union a truly sacred commitment, the day of the ceremony would have no value at all. The real work is not in "getting" married but in "being" married - for sure!

Rather, marriage is a Living Yoga

• As the old joke goes, everyone wants to "get" married, but no one wants to "be" married. But of course it is the "being married" which is the true reality. There is really nothing to "get," except the social approval. All the work & all the reward is loaded into the "being" part.

• "Marriage" is actually a living spiritual environment like a garden which must be lovingly tended, through drought and frost, in good years & bad. It has weather cycles like the earth.  A long dry spell might kill it.

• Much like a child, it is constantly in process, constantly negotiating for change, and requires constant awareness & attention.

• Clearly marriage is not a "thing" or an "achievement" but rather an interactive process.  Marriage is an ongoing yoga: a vital & supremely demanding  negotiation for self-definition, core meaning, emotional security, and higher truth.  

• Marriage is a sophisticated spiritual practice which needs dedication & wise guidance. 

• The core of marriage practice is ongoing forgiveness which allows us to register disappointment, anger, grief etc.

• Forgiveness allows the native to accept responsibility for the karma, and - at the point of acknowledgement  - to release the addiction to suffering, by releasing the attachment to the cause.

Marriage Dharma 

In particular, the Marriage house's location in 9th-from-11th and 11th-from-9th shows how marriage expresses the power of Dharma in the native's life.

Marriage partner brings Dharma (in the sense of Wisdom) to the native in two essential ways: 

• as  9th-from-11th  the marriage partner emerges from the web of native's friendly associations, as its finest fruit .  Marriage partner is the Best & Wisest Connection in the native's entire network of associations (11), and as such the marriage partner attracts much prosperity

• as 11th-from-9th the marriage partner is the basis of "sangha" or community of the wise.  I.e, the marriage partner is one's Most Essential Connection to the wisdom that gives permanent meaning to life.

"Inward spiritual practices such as meditation, breathing techniques and self-analysis generate insights and enhance abilities, but none are so useful as learning to live harmoniously in a committed relationship, being a skillful parent, or juggling the demands of daily life. "  ~~Dan Millman

Navamsha

Varga or "divisional" charts show the results of any undertaking of life.

The varga for marriage is Navamsha or 9th division, which shows the "fruits of Dharma." 

Presuming an accurate birth-time, navamsha (D-9) will be consulted side-by-side with radix (D-1) chart, to evaluate not only the material but also the inner psychological dynamics of marriage. 

Accurate predictions require concurrence between material (d-1) and psycho-emotional (d-9) configurations.  Normally there is reasonable concurrence in the two perspectives.  However, when the navamsha and radix spousal indications are contradictory, there is usually to be found a public/private split in which things look on the outside (d-1) much different than they feel on the inside (d-9) in the marriage.

By and large there is also a matching pattern between: 

• your navamsha and the partner's radix

• the partner's navamsha and your radix

• your navamsha and the partner's navamsha

• Moon linkage plays a major role

These D-1-to-D-9 links show the issues on which you two partners are spiritually working together. Traits which are dormant or subordinate in partner-1 will be alive or dominant in partner-2.  Thus each partner "mirrors" the other's arising consciousness, and facilitates spiritual growth by evoking astral imagery into real world action.

The navamsha reveals traits, desires, hopes, dreams, fears, etc. which are dormant but trying to rise into consciousness in your life. You find the partner who is already acting these out in the material world.  You are intensely attracted to this person; they are everything you admire, everything you crave, everything you want to be.  This person completes you; expresses you; forms your "other half".  

Naturally, you marry them!

Examine each house in Navamsha from the appropriate partner lagna to know the level of your soul that is just now moving from subconscious to conscious. We usually need partners to bring out this new personality growth in us. (Even if that partner is the ishtadevata.)

• navamsha 7th house represents first marriage spouse; navamsha lagna is you

• navamsha 2nd house represents second marriage spouse; navamsha 8th house is you

• navamsha 9th house represents third marriage spouse; navamsha 3rd house is you

Yoked Work: Managing marital cycles of Attraction-Repulsion, &  Desire-Contempt 

Every action has a reaction.   Every attraction contains its own repulsion.   Ask any good Buddhist: if you are intensely attracted to something now, rest assured you will be intensely repulsed by that same thing in the future!  

A significant part of the "work" of marriage is learning to manage the cycles of desire and contempt one feels toward one's partner over long periods of time.

All marriages are timed by Rahu-Ketu, which means that all marriages involve attraction-repulsion.

• In a love marriage, you personally are attracted & (later) repulsed - typically by the psycho-emotional qualities of the partner.  

• In an arranged marriage your guardians are attracted-repulsed - typically by the social-material qualities of the partner.  

But in either case Desire (which eventually boomerangs to Contempt) plays a major karmic role in Marriage. The karmic forces behind marriage are so strong that it seems not to matter much whether one "chooses" one's mate through "falling" in love -- or allows that mate to be chosen by one's social guardians. When it is time for the karmic partner to find you, they will find you!

It is often observed in modern India, where arranged marriages remain fairly common, that the success rate of arranged marriages approximately equals the success rate of "love marriages."  That is, about 50% of marriages are satisfying; 50% problematic - regardless of whether they are romantic or arranged.  

The big-picture view is that, no matter what social mechanism selects the mate,  we will all create (through impetus of samskara) a spouse/series of spouses who perfectly match our karmic job description :) 

The big-picture view is that, no matter what social mechanism selects the mate,  we will all create (through impetus of samskara) a spouse/series of spouses who perfectly match our karmic job description :) 

Yoked Work: Maintaining the Intention to Reach Agreement

Successful Marriage requires discipline, self-knowledge, and moral effort. Marriage can only survive when there is agreement on how to conduct the division of karmic labor. The higher the agreement level, the easier the partnership. 

• Physical work: not only doing the labor, but agreeing on how to do it, requires constant attention.

• Spiritual work: For those who feel ready to accept the austerity, marriage can be a high-speed vehicle toward consciousness.

There is never perfect agreement (as long as humans have egos, anyway) and so there is never an effortless marriage.

Who will I marry? 

Know who is "The One" by knowing your purpose. 

If your seventh radix, seventh navamsha, 7th-from-Moon, and Venus are agreeable to marriage, then you will marry the person WHOM YOU CREATE in your quest to to reach the next step in your search for the divine.

Each spouse has a key to one essential aspect of their partner's True Self. The process of coming to knowing the full range of your True Self offers one very viable path toward knowledge of the divine. 

Fully knowing You - in all your terrible beauty - is a quite effective way of exposing the presence of That Which Dwells Within.  

And who better to expose you :) than your spouse?

It's their job.

 If either partner is significantly traumatized, marriage can be a completely unconscious, reactive dramatization of subconscious motives during which very little self-knowledge or movement toward realization of the divine takes place.  

Since most people are pretty heavily traumatized, unconscious marriage is unfortunately the norm.

However if you are blessed with a conscious or even partly aware marriage, it is not hard to recognize that you & your spouse have clearly attracted each other for a salient purpose: to provide each other with the most intimate mirror of "the missing parts" of your inner selves. 

These missing parts are the aspects of personality about which we are "missing" important information, of which we lack recognition - until the partner through feedback reveals that information.  

By marriage I mean the religious not the legal definition.  Religious marriage is a spiritual union made sacred through speaking a vow.

The marriage partner has a unique combination of good/bad -easy/difficult traits that are designed to both comfort and disturb. 

The comfort is from similar hopes & dreams, habits & pleasures. The disturbing factor is  "matching energy" - matching pain, matching anxiety, similar childhood trauma, etc. 

Psychologically, "The One" is a personality that has many of the most difficult, conflicted, or inaccessible traits of your most difficult parent.  Most people have the most trouble during the childhood interaction with their opposite-gender parents.  

As a general rule, women have more trouble with their fathers and men have more trouble with their mothers.  

Yet some men have more trouble with their fathers and some women have more work to do with their mothers.  

And some folks are raised in communal settings, by religious orders, or in other parenting arrangements that are not so easy to identify the gender-reaction patterns.  

Past lives, which are stored in the subconscious, do play a role in childhood relationships with parents & caregivers. 

Vocation Profession Prestige of Spouse

Public reputation, social rank, and leadership position of the (first) spouse would be profiled through a combination of these items, probably in this order of importance:

1. spouse's material prestige and profession = 10th-from-Shukra (for male) or 10th-from-Guru (for female) 

2. spouse's public standing in terms of emotional affection from friends and social community = 10th-from-7th-from-Chandra = 4th-from-Chandra (this placement is not about material power or high respect; it is about public appreciation and affection) 

3. a more general indication of the spouse's professional role on the material plane, and some details of the economic sector in which the spouse participates professionally, can be seen through the 4th rashi from radix lagna, and the lord of bandhu bhava. (for example if L-4 is with Rahu, spouse may handle taboo or exotic materials, do recycling, or work for foreign interests. If L-4 is a compromised Shani, the work many is rudimentary or rough, such as agriculture. If L-4 is uchcha Shukra, the spouse may be a professional musician. Etc.) 

4. the dignity that one gives to one's own spouse, or the respect that one feels toward one's own spouse = 4th navamsha. (Occasionally, this attitude is better revealed through the 10th navamsha.) Examine the character of navamsha L-4 vis-à-vis navamsha 4th house.  (E.g., if within the navamsha, the L-4 occupies 6/8 from swakshetra, one might feel some contempt or disregard for the professional role of the spouse.) 

All of this information can be read from one's own nativity.

Alternative Sexual Orientation Unions

Certainly the lines between gay vs. straight marriages are increasing blurred as modern societies move out of survival urgency, and sex-role divisions of labor fade into history...  

Yet,  in these early years of the second millennium, it is generally the case that 

• a majority of women experience greater emotional difficultly connecting with their father, 

• and conversely majority of men experience greater emotional difficultly connecting with their mother.  

In order to continue their most significant spiritual work and break through their most challenging inner barriers, most women desire marriage to men, and most men to women. This gender-conventional attraction pattern is the most direct method of revealing and healing their childhood trauma with the opposite-gender parent. 

Which parent is "needs work"?

But what if the greater difficulty, blocked emotional access, negligence, lack of expected guidance and nurturing, even physical abuse, is linked with the same-gender parent? Then, it is more likely that the subconscious will direct the native into a same-gender relationship.

Men involved with men, & women involved with women, follow the same psycho-spiritual logic of attracting a spouse who mirrors that comfortable-but-oh-so-frustrating energy of the more difficult parent (including difficulty caused by absence).  

In these intimate relationships, the most difficult parent will hail from the same gender.  These natives need to cross their inner fear barriers - barriers constructed in the subconscious which greatly limit freedom and happiness in the conscious life - by getting their healing information from the mirror of a same-gender spouse.  

Natives who follow a pattern of both straight and gay unions within one lifetime, are similarly recovering essential but currently missing self-knowledge that was originally sought from both parents, alternately.  

Natives raised by same-gender parental couples, composed of two men or two women in life partnership, will probably have the same results as children historically raised by mother-grandmother /father-grandfather or two-sister/two brother pairs; that is, one will seek a spouse who mirrors whichever parent-partner was more complex or difficult.  

Sex of the spouse will tend toward the sex of the difficult parent as in conventional unions, but at this point in the logic we need to be able to distinguish between sex and gender.

How to Know Who You're Going to Marry

The psycho-spiritual purpose of  marriage is to work out the problems one had, in childhood, with the more-difficult parent.  

If you are looking for a marriage partner, it is fairly straightforward to define who that person is and when you might be ready to receive them into your life.

Just be honest about your struggle to achieve complete emotional access to &  validation from your more difficult parent.  

If you can define that struggle, you can define your next spouse!

Sugar and Vinegar

Marriage is "yoked" sugar and vinegar.  The sugar comes first, but the sugar is designed to seduce you with shared hopes & dreams, and extract from you a commitment.  The sugar is soon joined by the vinegar. The vinegar is spiritually essential! The higher purpose of marriage - which is healing - is only possible to achieve if the vinegar is present! 

There must be pain, confrontation, disappointment, and grief in marriage... if there weren't, there would be no motive for the native to examine their subconsciously driven reactions. Only by examining our reactions can the hidden holdings of the subconscious be exposed.

The struggle to heal deeper pain and experience higher freedom will go to phase-2 in your first marriage, phase-3 in your second marriage, and so forth. The struggle for one lifetime might start and finish within a single marriage (check palm lines to confirm).  However the full healing endeavor can easily entail  2, 3 or more marriages in the modern era. The healing process can also go from gay to straight unions, and vice versa.  

If you know your own healing agenda well enough, you'll be able to spot that next spouse at 500 yards.

Jyotisha and Gender Symbolism

In non-conventional unions, the symbolism of Sun as "masculine" and Moon as "feminine" will signify father and mother, husband and wife, reason and intuition, etc. One of the strongest and most satisfying energetic pairings is male-Sun with female-Moon. This Sun-Moon configuration is both interpersonally and socially validating, and it contributes a major endurance factor into any partnership.

However, it is critically important to be intellectually vigilant in Jyotisha analysis of alternate sexual orientation unions. Gender is a psycho-social construct!  "Masculine" is a gender term which can be understood independently of anatomical sex. "Masculine" energy is present in both male and female bodies.  

The Sun-male/Moon-female balance works just as well emotionally and is just as socially sanctioned, when it occurs between a male guru and a male student, in a naturally dominant-subordinate or manifest-dormant type of wisdom relationship, such as guru-sisya.

The partner whom one attracts for the purpose of balancing a weakness of "Surya" energy will have - relative to oneself - significant "masculine" qualities such as stronger public presentation, more rational decisiveness, better developed (even overdeveloped) Ego.  

The partner who is attracted in order to help balance a weakness of "Chandra" will have significant "feminine" qualities such as stronger listening skills, more patience, better developed intuition, and emotional sensitivity than the native.

• Since women are, in general, given less social permission to run rational, decisive energy 

• and men are, in general, given less social permission to run intuitive, perceptive energy, 

• the general patterns for women seeking public recognition through men 

• and men seeking family stability through women, 

• are well known.

However, despite the general patterns, there is no fixed requirement that this helper should have any particular anatomical attributes.  

Masculine energy does have a natural affinity for the male body, and male bodies are usually happiest running about 90% male/10% female energy.  However male bodies can tolerate different fuel mixes over the short term, up to about 30% female energy, especially when caring for their young. 

Female bodies run  70-80% female/30-20% male energy optimally.  However female bodies are fully capable of running as much as 50% male energy in leadership settings, which puts them in the perfect Sun-Moon balance during times of crisis.  (I.e., women are much better suited to balanced leadership roles.)

Therefore healing, conscious intimate partnerships are legitimate and available in virtually every configuration of Sun, Moon, male, and female.

Timing: When? 

Meeting the partner:

Sanjay Rath opines that the native will Meet their first spouse during a period of Shukra.  

This is often true. Shukra bhukti script often brings a highly attractive person into the field of one's perception. 

Virtually any bhukti of the Shukra mahadasha can also bring the future spouse into one's range of view.

However, I have noticed that a future spouse is also met in periods of navamsha L-1 or L-7, or Rahu.

• The first psychic attraction occurs during a Vimshottari period of Shukra [or navamsha L-1 or navamsha L-7] whether the native is male or female.

• However, for a traditionally religious woman who expects to receive her education, values, worldview, & abundance passively through her husband, and who is expecting a transcendent love relationship (frequently non-sexual) with the husband in a protective, fatherly role, attraction/introduction may possibly occur during a bhukti of Guru. 

• It is also possible although much less common to meet the future spouse in periods of Rahu-Ketu or Shani, particularly if Rahu-Ketu are giving the effects of navamsha L-1/L-7, or Shukra.  A partner first encountered in Shani bhukti will have a very somber presentation, characterized not by romance but by harsh necessity.  But, sometimes, life is this way.

• The definition of "meeting" is very flexible :) - generally "meeting" means a real-world social introduction, but in some cultures the spouse can be known only to your parents, or can be known to you only in dreams. 

Three Jyotisha Rules of Marriage Timing 

Three conditions must be met for the timing of marriage:

1. Any of the following "marriage-maker" Vimshottari bhuktis must occur.

   • bhukti of the lord of the 1st or 7th navamsha

   • bhukti of Shukra or Rahu (Rahu frequently indicates marriage to a person from another culture or religion)

   • in circumstances of scarcity, servitude, or social pressure, a bhukti of Shani (Shani-timed marriage is associated with urgency of time-and-materials constraints: a pregnancy, or remarriage to protect existing children, or political requirements)

   • very rare: Ketu period can induce a spiritual, unconsummated marriage 

2. Gochara Rahu-Ketu must be traveling through any of the following seven lagnas:

   • navamsha lagna or navamsha axis of natal nodes

   • radix lagna or radix axis of natal nodes

   • radix axis of natal Chandra

   • navamsha axis of natal Chandra

   • radix axis of natal Shukra

3. The graha which triggers marriage must have a radix-activated navamsha lord. I.e., the navamsha lord of the marriage-maker must ALSO be marriage-empowered in radix.

   • For example, a Rahu bhukti during a qualifying Rahu-Ketu transit might look like the perfect recipe for an impulsive marriage.

   • However, Rahu's desires will not drive a passionate attraction all the way into a wedding ceremony if navamsha Rahu occupies a rashi of conservative Shani. (unless, perhaps, Shani is also L-1 or L-7 navamsha...)

   • However, if navamsha Rahu occupies a rashi of "natural" marriage-maker Shukra 

In addition, the native should have marriageable age & status, according to the customs of their own culture.

Q: How can I determine the timing of my marriage? One of the most promising marriage periods has passed, the object of my romantic interest does not share my enthusiasm, and I remain yet unmarried!

A:Namaste, Generally speaking, marriage occurs in Vimshottari subperiods of one of the following graha

1. Shukra

2. Rahu 

3. lord of navamsha-1 

4. lord of navamsha-7

To trigger the marriage event, there should be a corresponding transit of Rahu-Ketu to one of the key points in either radix or navamsha, such as

• radix lagna 

• navamsha lagna 

• radix axis of Rahu-Ketu 

• navamsha axis of Rahu-Ketu 

• radix Moon 

• navamsha Moon

• in a male nativity, possibly the transit of Rahu-Ketu in contact to Shukra

You should be able to determine the timing windows using your own Jyotisha knowledge of your Vimshottari Dasha.

Delay by Shani

Shani is the karaka of resistance, retardation, and the law of karma. Shani's actions may delay marriage. Even though a correct timing agent may be the ruling bhukti pati and there may be a correct transit of gochara Rahu-Ketu occurring, if these triggers are held back by a difficult transit such as Shani oppressing the bhukti pati, or Shani transit through yuvati bhava, then the predicted event may be denied. Wait for a time when Shani is not oppressing the key points for marriage.

Enforced marriage by Shani

Shani can enforce an unwanted and oppressive marriage by creating conditions of obligation, scarcity and responsibility which the native feels can only be addressed by marriage. 

Occasionally Shani becomes the bhukti-pati for marriage even when He is not the normal marriage timelord. 

In these circumstances it may be found that a widower is desperate to care for one's children, or a child-bride is sold for a dowry to feed her family of origin. A bride is taken to be used as a servant, to be imprisoned, or intentionally harmed. Typically there are severe Shani-related indicators in Chandra, 7th radix, 7th navamsha etc.

Rahu trumps all

Another possibility is that during extremely strong periods of Rahu, no supporting conditions are required. Rahu's passionate desire to possess the forbidden can create a rush into marriage, often in cross-cultural circumstances, which "breaks all the rules" including the Jyotisha timing rules.

Example of Shani delay

In your own nativity, Shani is lord of both navamsha-7 and radix-7. As you know, Shani signifies elder partners or those from characteristic Shani circumstances (scarcity, delay, rigidity). Furthermore Ketu occupies domain-7 and Ketu is lord of Chandra's nakshatra. Ketu becomes a strong significator of marriage. In fact, in this nativity, Ketu subperiods could also produce marriage (if supporting factors were in place).

The recent Shani transit through Simha was so powerful, oppressing both the marriage lord (Shani) and Ketu, that marriage did not occur despite the presence of the two key conditions (Shani bhukti and Rahu-Ketu crossing the navamsha lagna). Consider also the general signification of L-7 in the lagna, suggesting that one will be of older age than average at the time of marriage.

Considerations

In your own nativity, study carefully the implications of Shukra in Vrischika, Shukra in 8th-from-Chandra, and Ketu in domain-7 in a rashi of Shani. Consider also the role of the dara-karaka. Material wealth is there. Shani may be creating marriage delays for purpose of moral strengthening through maturity.

Sincerely, B.P. Lama, Jyotisha www.barbarapijan.com 

• Case Study: Jyotisha Marriage Timing Prediction

• Case Study: Timing from Navamsha & Gochara Nodes.)

This is a generic Vimshottari period timeline which gives Classic "marriage and family" Jyotisha timing via the Karaka graha. This pattern works regardless of the house ownerships.

• Shukra-and-or-Rahu

• Guru

• Shani

E.g.,

1. Shukra/Shukra (gives the romance and love of material comfort)

2. Shukra/Rahu (gives the passionate attraction)

3. gochara Rahu-Ketu contacting one of the key lagnas (gives the identity-change behaviors)

then, following immediately after Rahu bhukti comes

• Shukra/Guru period (gives the children)

• Shukra/Shani period (gives the heavy responsibility for structured parenting roles, social expectations, & requirement to provide material support.) 

There are of course many interesting varieties of marriages, and many ways to experience the marriage-and-family trajectory; nevertheless it is good to recognize the most common karaka pattern.

Marriage timing schedule implicit in the Bhuktis:

• Even if Shani is neither L-1 nor L-7 navamsha, Bhuktis of Shani can be marriage-makers when the native is under intense mental or physical pressure of survival. The typical case of Shani-driven marriage is a widow/er who 'must' remarry in order to care for their children.  The pressure may be clearly material (starvation, servitude) or more social (marginalization, humiliation). The marriage will tend to be duty-oriented.

• Bhuktis of Shukra often provide the enchantment of falling in love with a physically or financially attractive person. The marriage promises material comfort, luxury and sweet companionship, according the character of Shukra in nativity. The marriage will tend to be focused on physical beauty, sensual indulgence & material ease, with a relatively low tolerance for illness, austerity or hard work.

• Bhuktis of Rahu create "hot-house" marriages marked by psychological possessiveness, deep trauma, taboo-breaking, intense psycho-sexual attraction, and the passionate rush to a quick wedding. Typically the partner is a 'foreign' person from a different culture, religion, or social class than the native. The marriage will tend to focus on crossing cultural & psychological boundaries in pursuit of deep desires.

• Bhuktis of the lords of the first or seventh navamshas create a deep psychological compensation or mirroring attraction. Each partner is mesmerized by the other, who expresses their own dormant traits in a more active, public way. The marriage will tend to focus on public/private & inner/outer division of social and psychological labor. 

About second marriage:

IMO, if you are more than 30 years old, don't panic regarding the doomsday statistics for second marriage. Prognosis is good for second marriage in general, presuming the native has matured emotionally during Shani return age 28-31 and Rahu return age 27-29.

Although overall divorce statistics are highly unfavorable for second marriages (with some 65%+ of second marriage ending in divorce) those figures are badly skewed by the very high percentage of second marriages contracted when the spouses are under age 25, which end in divorce. 

The frightening 2nd-marrriage statistics are largely due to couples whose first marriage occurs at 17-20 and second marriage at 21-24.

Partners older than age 45 at time of second marriage have extremely low divorce rates (as do first marriages made after age 35 generally.)  

Partners who are both university educated also have much lower divorce statistics.

Emotional maturity (L-4, Chandra) and education (L-4, Budha) are very positive factors in marriage longevity!

Timing: Second Marriage 

Traditionally, bhukti of lord-of-2nd-from-Shukra will introduce the second spouse.

Second marriage ceremony 

• bhukti of activated marriage-maker graha 

• gochara Rahu-Ketu cross one of the marriage lagnas

(For a detailed analysis of navamsha activation in a sample nativity, please see Timing from Navamsha & Gochara Nodes.)

Timing: Third Marriage:

Traditionally, bhukti of lord-of-9th-from-Shukra will introduce the third spouse.

• bhukti of activated marriage-maker graha 

• gochara Rahu-Ketu cross one of the marriage lagnas

Timing: Fourth Marriage

Traditionally, bhukti of lord-of-4th-from-Shukra will introduce the fourth spouse.

• bhukti of activated marriage-maker graha 

• gochara Rahu-Ketu cross one of the marriage lagnas

Q: Will the second spouse make a better contribution to the joint wealth of the marriage than the first spouse?    

A: 

• 2nd-from any house is the wealth from that house.  2nd-from-7th = randhra bhava is the wealth of the spouse, particularly the first spouse.

• 8th-from-lagna and 8th-from-Moon and 8th navamsha show your in-laws--  the family, wealth, and values of the first spouse.  The combined profile of these three joint-asset angles defines the joint assets of the first marriage.  Remember dhana is not only material wealth but aesthetic values and attitude toward wealth in its spiritual, mental, and emotional manifestations.   A good attitude toward money and a clean heart attracts money; the reverse also proves true!

• 8th-from-2nd-from-lagna = dharma bhava and 8th-from-2nd-from-Moon and  8th-from-2nd-navamsha, or 9th-D9) characterize your in-laws --  the family, wealth, and values attached to the second spouse. The combined profile of these three joint-asset angles defines the joint assets of the second marriage.

Q: Is the chance of "survival" for a marriage better if we choose to be married during the "appropriate" Bhukti or is that just a period of increasing likelihood of marriage?

A:  Marriages pretty much occur on schedule of the vimshottari dasha. It is actually not possible to experience a marriage unless the planets are lined up correctly. (Humans don't have the power to control major life events, regardless of what we learn in the public schools!)

The benefit of Jyotisha in the modern age is not so much marriage "insurance" via ritual protection of the planets (which certainly used to be Jyotisha's central function) but rather "mental health" advantage of knowing when these key life events are most likely to occur.

(The only exception is the negative "warning" function that a Rahu bhukti is likely to signal a crazy, exotic marriage... which one might wish if karmically possible to decline!)

First marriage occurs during the bhukti of the proper lord plus a gochara Rahu-Ketu contact point. Bhukti of the subsequent navamsha lords with corresponding Rahu-Ketu transits brings subsequent marriages. A more-or-less auspicious day or month within the destined bhukti may be "chosen" by the marriage partners or their parents, but the timing of marriages is rather a karmic affair, with larger forces enforcing the schedule.

The "chance of survival" of the first (or any other) marriage depends on how fast the person is changing in this lifetime. The first marriages of people in traditional cultures nearly always "survive" their full lifetimes because there is not much growth/change allowed in cultures where stability is prized above creativity. 

In cultures like ours [western-liberal-doctrine] that value creativity and newness, there is high permission for changing ego structure, i.e. redefining who we are - perhaps several major redefinitions during a single lifetime. 

Major changes in a person's worldview will mandate a change of those primary relationships which confirm and support our identity. We can peel through so many karmic layers with the advantages of elite education, tremendous amount of free time for therapy and reflection, and sex-positive culture that drives us through relationship after relationship like a house of mirrors.

It is possible to have several VERY USEFUL, spiritually legitimate marriages.

So in the west our family arrangements, including spouse, change much more frequently. Traditional cultures (or more traditional families within the generally pro-change greater western culture) may interpret creativity as instability; change-oriented cultures will interpret stability as stagnation.

If "unstable" (read: creative, innovative, open-minded, or healing-from-trauma) planets control the axis of the first or subsequent marriages, these marriages may be tumultuous and brief or at least not life-long. 

On the other hand if the axis for a particular marriage is "stable" there may be a very long commitment praised by outer society which on a personal level may require major compromise, adaptation, and not infrequently repression/oppression. 

That was a long answer to your short question! IMO, the prognosis for a given marriage (in the modern west) involves an evaluation of the spiritual purpose that marriage is designed to serve.

If the person is working through major emotional trauma in this life, the "survival" of particular marriage may be intentionally brief, and that brevity of contractual commitment can be both socially and spiritually legitimate.

Having said that, I do agree that the small choices we can make within the greater karmic framework, as to choosing an auspicious day and location, are very beneficial to the spiritual well-being of the partners joined in that holy ceremony.

Not because our small human choices can override the greater plan, but because in seeking to choose the most harmonious conditions we are expressing a higher consciousness and a desire to work hand-in-hand with the divine, which is always a helpful attitude to sustain in every day of a working marriage.

Higher consciousness partners who consider themselves bound to each other through the divine, will generally enjoy their marriages much more than those bound to each other in order to satisfy parents, religion, or government. So choosing an auspicious day and inviting the spirits to be present at the joining ceremony is a powerful evidence of the partners' mutual desire for a long and "fruitful" marriage.

What counts as a marriage?

• Any officiated marriage whether secular or religious, where vows are spoken (by the partners or their priests).

In practice there may be an early, impulsive, brief, childless legal marriage - less than three months duration - in which vows were spoken while drugged or in a confused or traumatized state of mind.  These rare, deceptive pseudo-marriages are "null" and do not count as "first marriage" despite the fact that the "performative statement" was issued.

• Any consciously committed partnership *if vows of matrimony are taken, even in private* in the presence of the divine, between any persons of any gender.

It has been common practice in many cultures worldwide and especially now in the modern west, for partners to enjoy long-term exclusive sexual partnerships, especially in youth.  However, there is still a difference between these often deeply healing, loving relationships and a real marriage -- at least for the purpose of calculating the timing of future marriages.  The difference is, were vows taken or a child born?  

Most often the live-in partnership, while mimicking marriage in terms of division of labor, is explicitly *not* a marriage spiritually speaking, because the partners explicitly decline to take sacred vows.

• Possibly a marriage might be **a relationship which produces a conception** - however brief!  The date of marriage is the date of conception.  This situation is unusual but possible.  However, very often a relationship which produces a live child even if vows were never spoken, can count as a marriage. Sometimes the child acts as the vow-holder.

When counting houses to find your current or future spouse, be sure to consider all vows and all conceptions, or your understanding of which house matches which spouse may be inaccurate.

The woman will quit her husband and marry another if the 7th house from the Ascendant or the Moon-occupied signs be found with malefics as well as benefics.

~~ Bhrigu Sutram Ch. 24 Shloka 9

Q:  I lived with my faithful sexual partner for 30 years ... but we never got legally married. 

He proposed numerous times but I wanted to develop my career so I always turned him down.  Also, looking back, I see that he was doing a lot of parenting for me.  Eventually we split up.

 I'm ready to get married now and I'm looking for the astrological indicators that would tell me the timing of marriage.  Should I consider that long-term, live-in, committed relationship to be my first marriage?  How should I look for the timing of my second marriage?

A: The vidya of Jyotisha sees true marriage as validated by either (1) vows spoken, by the partners or their priests --- or -- (2) a child born through the union.

Even long-term, emotionally committed, healing, monogamous relationships (which are so common here in the West) are not considered marriages. Even when partners love each other sincerely, but for their own reasons never advance to the taking of vows, is not considered a marriage.

The early relationship you mention -- even though it contained a proposal of marriage -- in fact never advanced to the spoken vows.  It is not a Jyotisha marriage, unless a child was born through that union. 

Non-vow partnerships in Domain-11 and Domain-5

Long, committed non-vow partnerships may be found via either the house of Romance (domain-5) or the house of Friendship and Goals (domain-11), depending on the nature of the commitment. 

In practice, I find that most of the longer term non-vow sexual partnerships = domain-11. In matters of labha bhava, much progress is made toward individual goals. Large networks of friendship are built and much information exchanged. Two friends are deeply supporting each other in pursuit of individual goals but retain their separate identities. There is no socially approved & shared goal which would drive the partners toward marriage. These committed friendships, with or without a sexual dimension, can be very happy social arrangements which sustain for many years!

Domain-5 relationships are poetic, imaginative, and intensely projecting. The partners are "in love" in a childlike, creative, and individualized way - but they are not ready to assume the contractual obligations of marriage. 

The couple are projecting their individual "intelligence" -- psychic imagery, emotional need, wishful expectation, & transformative desire -- upon each other. Yet, due to youthfulness (chronological or psychological) with its natural love of creativity and options for change, the relationship does not enter the adult contractual phase. Marriage, indeed, is a promise not to change!

Unlike domain-11 non-vow partnerships, domain-5 love affairs tend to be short duration. They produce marvelous feelings of childlike wonder and desire unto bliss, but lack the "kendra" foundation of a lifetime promise.

21 degree of Mithuna-Dhanusha

Is this person a good partner for me?  Is this "The One"?

You will know, if you have met someone special in a period of Venus (or 2nd-from-Venus for 2nd marriage) AND an appropriate bhukti AND one of the required Rahu-Ketu transits will soon apply, that you are likely to be getting married in the near future. Not guaranteed, of course, but generally the two factors of correct house-lord bhukti plus nodal movement makes marriage quite likely indeed.  

Usually, if the timing is right, it's "the One" (or second One or third One) and that person is "good for you" spiritually whether being "good for you" is "easy" - or not. 

Some marriages, especially those undertaken during period of Rahu, might better be avoided by those with the self-knowledge to avoid them.  But this is a Catch-22 statement because it is precisely the Rahu-dominated folks who can't avoid these marriages due to intense, past-life-rooted passions which strongly tend to make history repeat itself.  Rahu gives burning desires for pleasure, excitement, tumultuous change, and uprising of subconscious patterns into consciousness.  If your consciousness permits a higher awareness of your repeating desire patterns, you can avoid unfavorable marriages entirely by working out some other type of partnership [business, caretaking, service] with the object of your Rahu-driven passions.  

This conscious reengineering of an attraction is rare, because most people have a quite limited understanding of spirit, and therefore confuse the sexual, social, and spiritual purposes of marriage. However if you are one of the rare ones, take it as a principle of good life to avoid being married in a bhukti of Rahu because Rahu greatly amplifies the power of past-life desire. 

Whatever happens, marriage is a major part of life karma.  You can have your cake and eat it too if you think of each new significant partnership or marriage as a healing.  Healings work in surprising ways.  Sometimes they are quite painful.  Be willing to be surprised, as your partner shows you new information about yourself.

If you are attracted to a partner, their information is by default "good for you" spiritually in that the soul has assigned this person to bring you valuable spiritual information about yourself. Each partner evokes from us, a manifestation of our dormant intelligence. Each partner plays the "other half".  

Each partner makes us whole.  This is true even if your partner is abusive or deceitful. They still have a piece of your jigsaw puzzle; they are still your spiritual friend, helping you clear the path to the divine.  Even if it seems like they are creating obstacles, in reality those are *your* obstacles and you want to own them so that you can solve the dilemma and *you* can move forward.  

The navamsha will give you a fairly clear picture of the dormant traits in yourself which attract persons with more empowered versions of those traits in relationships.  Study your navamsha to learn which jigsaw puzzle pieces you are collecting in this life.  Your rashi chart shows your conscious developed personality, but the navamsha shows the level of you which is just rising to consciousness.  Study the navamsha to see who you are trying to become.  Then, be delighted when the people who are already intensely using those traits show up in your life on schedule!

"Think of the other's wife as your mother, and your own wife as half of your body."

~~ Bhagavata Purana 4.16.17

Q: 

Hi ... I have been surfing through your articles with much interest. I had a question that I thought you could also include on your site.  

It isn't really personal or asking for a personal reading ...  But is it logical for one to feel at a certain point that in the near future they are going to meet the 'one'-as in their life partner?  

For the past few months I have had this very thought coming to mind...that the 'time' has come and I will in the near future meet the person I will spend my life with.  I haven't met the person but deep within I can very well feel it-ultimately I tell myself that when it is meant to be and when God has it planned for only then will I meet this person.

A: 

Namaste,

Thanks for the question! 

 I wouldn't say it's "logical" to intuit that the "one" key partner is approaching at a certain phase of life, but rather that such a longing for completion through the company of the life companion is very widespread amongst humans - perhaps we could say universal.  Even the celibate religious yearn for completion through merging with the Divine.

We are all provided with an inner voice.  As you suggest, the inner teacher will tell us when a major milestone approaches, such as marriage, childbirth, or death. Unfortunately most people have trouble hearing that voice.  Therefore the Divine has provided us with a backup method of prediction, in the form of Jyotisha.

Ceremonial marriage generally occurs in the bhukti of (1) seventh navamsha's lord, or (2) Venus, or (3) Rahu-Ketu, or (4) Saturn.  There are a few other combinations too. Rahu-Ketu must simultaneously transit one of the key axes of either radix or navamsha,  to set the timing of marriage.

In the absence of a clear inner voice (caused usually by self-doubt) Jyotisha's traditional timing predictions can support the intuition and calm one's anxiety about the future.  I completely agree with you that the "feeling" of anticipating the arrival of the marriage era, and of the spouse, is tangible.  There will be dreams and other psychic portents. From these signs alone one could confirm onset of marriage time, if one had sufficient faith.  However for those who seek confirmation from the vidya of Jyotisha, the vimshottari dasha is a reliable supplementary guide.

May Shri Ganesha help us remove all obstacles to clear intuition.

 All the best,

 Barbara Pijan Lama, Jyotisha

Q: Is a marriage for Jyotisha purposes any spoken vow of monogamy between partners?

A: Namaste:  

Jyotisha considers a union to be a marriage if a vow is spoken. Typically the vow is spoken in front of a witness such as a religious or civil priest (I.e., judge, ship's captain, other officiants of civil religion). 

However, the ancient customs of hand-fasting, and walking around the 'homa' sacred fire seven times while repeating vows seven times, also qualify as vows spoken before a "witness". 

Jyotisha doesn't care about government legal status; it cares about the 3-way spiritual anchoring of the vow between two partners and the Divine (where the witness/official/homa/priest are representatives of  the Divine Law).  

Ironically for us in the West, what doesn't qualify as marriage is long-term live-in partnerships in which vows have never been spoken including "common law' marriages without children. 

However, should such a partnership produce a child, the child becomes a witness to the commitment (in a big way!) and a live-in partnership with children becomes a Jyotisha marriage.  

Long answer to your short question! If a vow of marriage is sincerely spoken by both partners before a witness, yes, from a Jyotisha perspective, you're married. (Exceptions: insincere speech: inebriated, insane, or lying, etc. = disqualified as marriage.)

BTW not all cultures require monogamy in marriage.  The vow requires sincere intent to treat the spouse as a living gift of the Divine, but a poly-androus or poly-gynous marriage may require that this intent be fulfilled toward numerous simultaneous spouses of different ranks etc. If each spouse in the culturally supported group is fully honored from the heart, the marriage vow is upheld. 

It is the intent of the vow, not the number or gender configuration, which Jyotisha-legitimizes the marriage.

Sincerely,

Barbara Pijan Lama - www.barbarapijan.com 

Q: Even though this is first marriage for both of us, my husband enjoyed several marriage-like relationships [which did not lead to ceremonial marriage] prior to our wedding.  Do his previous amorous relationships make me his third/fourth spouse ?

A: No. But good question! that the marriage-like relationships (live-in, sexual relationships) don't generally qualify as marriages unless 

(1) private vows have been spoken between the partners and a third witness, such as a priest, govt official, or a homa 

or 

(2) a child was conceived into the union. 

If the previous relationships were vow-free and child-free, they don't involve any lasting responsibilities, and they don't "count" toward the marriage enumeration. 

(They indeed belong to domain-5, the house of "fame" and  romantic love.) 

You are your husband's first wife.

Q: Respected Madam, Namaskar. 

I was viewing Shri Swami Yogananda's chart. His 4th house has Venus in Scorpio aspected by Jupiter, which is the fact of Occult knowledge.

But 4th house is [public] reputation of Spouse. Swami Yogananda was never married. He had 7th house like everyone.

Do Saints never need a partner to complete them? How do they find that other half?

~~  Jai Ganesha

A:

Good question! As you mention, every Jyotisha nativity contains a 7th house, and 7th-from-Chandra. Therefore, everyone has some type of a life partner.

The "other half" for authentically celibate saints is their Ishta-Devata - the god of one's heart.

A marriage relationship with one's ishta-devata is passionate, intense, and - according to the Lives of the Saints - much more morally demanding than a human marriage.

Even persons who do acquire a human life partner, are benefitted to understand that one's human partner is merely an expression of the intelligence of the ishtadevata. This is a great truth, although rather few these days are able to know it.

Due to the constant & inescapable mirror-imaging of one's own thoughts & behavior which is provided by the partner, marriage is the most difficult and demanding of all spiritual practices. 

One who is lucky enough to realize one's mirror-image in a divine form may experience extraordinary happiness and satisfaction. However, because the spiritual ishtadevata is not perceivable through the default five senses data-streams, it is said to require much more psychic effort to maintain communication with the deity-spouse. Also it is said that if one loses contact with the ishta-devata, the pain of personal invalidation is terribly acute - similar to a divorce but much worse.

The benefits of choosing to marry the ishtadevata by taking a vow of human celibacy may be spectacularly good. But the risk of devastating psycho-emotional loss of self-definition (insanity), when loss of contact occurs through negligence or misguidance, is also high. That is why religious vows of monkhood are typically limited to those who live in community with others who have taken similar vows. In communal practice, fellow practitioners can support each other's commitments, under steady & capable supervision.

Unfortunately,  many who claim to have taken a vow of celibacy do not have the moral character to maintain the vow, and they live in a state of hypocrisy. All major religions which support a community of celibate religious (Taoist, Christian, Hindu, Buddhist, some esoteric sects of Islam) face this danger in the maintenance of their mystical lineages. 

"Love is always patient and kind; it is never jealous; love is never boastful or conceited; it is never rude or selfish; it does not take offense, and is not resentful. 

Love takes no pleasure in other people's sins but delights in the truth; it is always ready to excuse, to trust, to hope, and to endure whatever comes.

Love does not come to an end."

~~ I Corinthians 13: 4-8 [Jerusalem Bible]

"I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They've experienced pain and bought jewelry."            

~~ Rita Rudner

While honesty and openness get all of the good press -- too much good press, in my opinion -- the crucial role that deceit plays in the health and survival of long-term relationships is all too often overlooked. 

Fact is, without gentle spinning, the omission of damning details, and the occasional bald-faced lie, no relationship would last more than a week.  

~~ Dan Savage

May all beings venerate life as a state of deep spiritual intimacy.

file update: 19-Jun-2010

Copyright © 1994-2015 by Barbara Pijan Lama - Contact - Sitemap - How to Request a Jyotisha Reading - www.barbarapijan.com

 Barbara Pijan Lama Jyotisha Vedic Astrology Horoscope Readings Surya Sun Chandra Moon Mangala Mars Budha Mercury Guru Jupiter Shukra Venus Shani Saturn Rahu Ketu Graha Planets Dasha Timeline Nakshatra Navamsha Marriage Children Wealth Career Spiritual Wisdom Death