Marriage & Remarriage
Un amor, una
aventura, compañía para un viaje.
"Compassion is the desire
for another to have freedom from suffering.
Love is the desire for another to have happiness."
~~ H. H. Dalai Lama
"Love starts when manipulation
stops."
~~ Dr. Joyce Brothers
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Love =
-
Old English = lufu "love, affection,
friendliness,"
-
from Proto-Germanic = *lubo
-
(cf. Old.Frisian liaf, Ger. lieb, Goth. liufs "dear,
beloved;" not found elsewhere as a noun, except O.H.G. luba, Ger.
Liebe),
-
from ProtoIndoEuropean = *leubh- "to care, desire,
love"
~~ www.etymonline.com
English etymological dictionary
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Yoked Work:
Compatibility:
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Timing:
Profiles:
Considerations:
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Case
Studies: marriage charts,
for long & short partnerships |
What
is "Love"?
Love is an extremely simple &
ultimately powerful energy which must be "discovered" in the
modern world because the veils of materialism have obscured it.
Some of
this Love experience would appear to be very deeply karmic. It hurts!
However the result of developing one's capacity to Love will be extremely positive and
beneficial in every single lifetime. That knowledge
gained through struggle to understand Love is the pearl of great price. "Precious!"
The native will fight - and win
- a lifelong battle to Recognize the greater reality of Love.
Every other
graha competes for the native's attention. Some grahas are functioning in
the current lifetime to work against the native's chance for discovering
Love
-
Shani's focus on material survival
-
Chandra's emotional need
-
Shukra's attraction to comfort
& sensual
pleasure
-
Kuja's physicality and
competitiveness
-
Budha's mentalism
-
Rahu's constant yearning for the objects of
passion & ambition.
-
Ketu's apathetic detachment
-
even Guru's expansive inclusiveness
All of these agendas work against the goals of
Surya, who is the Center of Divine
Love in Earth's system. (There are other centers in bigger systems of
which Earth is a part, e.g. our Galactic Sun, but in our perception, Surya is
the main center.)
Surya = Greatest Love
Surya (Kuja/Guru) represents the
Greater Love. The greater love is not emotionally need-based and cannot be
betrayed by loss, disdain or "cheating". The greater love is
absolutely personal, and does not involve other humans. Quest for the
greater love is fueled by a love of knowledge, a hunger for Truth, a deep
and ceaseless Spiritual Desire. The Greatest Love is considered by
philosophers (lovers of knowledge) to be the ultimate prize for
humans.
Chandra = Lesser but Essential Love
Chandra (Shukra/Shani) represents the
Lesser Love. The lesser love is a sincere & genuine expression of
human emotional need, cannot be disregarded or oppressed without emotional
backlash. Humans need touch. They need security, protection, connection to
a people and a place. They need mothering, sheltering, validation. These
are basic needs of the material and astral bodies. If these needs are not
met in childhood then the native will remain "unconscious",
chained to the Moon, and living in lifelong hunger for continuous
sheltering, ego-reflective mother-approval.
Humans are Sun-Moon creatures.
Each human must learn to consciously
negotiate the Surya-Chandra dichotomy of "love" perceptions. It
is essential to not confuse the two worlds, but rather to appreciate how
Chandra reflects Surya, protecting humans from spiritual overload until
our electrical circuitry is capable of handling the Greater Love
intensity.
Love Intelligence
It is essential to learn to use the correct
love tools in each appropriate Love World.
-
In interpersonal relationships with
other sentient beings, the compassionate one attends to the realities
of the lesser love. Provide approval, safety, and validation to loved
ones. Respond with Human Care.
-
In partnership with the Divine, the
compassionate one opens the heart as wide as possible to receive the
inflow of brilliant creative spiritual energy. Respond with Divine
Praise.
Realistic
expectations and goals for Modern Marriage
All nativities have patterns similar to yours - that is, there are
no ideal marriages. There is a generous amount of public denial of
course; lots of people putting up a nice smooth social façade of
"everything is fine" in their marriages! But looking honestly
into modern marriage, whether first, second, or third, there will always
be and indeed there *should* be plenty of negative mirroring and
friction.
The goal is *not* to manifest a marriage which has no growth
potential and no dynamic energy for change - that is, a marriage free of
individuality and conflict. A lock-down psychic stasis like that might
have been an ideal in medieval society when physical survival depended
on people taking absolutely fixed social roles and anyway the average
life span was about 40 years!
In these days of dwapara
yuga, the main goal of marriage is to provide a sanctuary of
mutual understanding and emotional support for two independent
individuals.
These two independent people choose to trust each other to
provide a degree of social dignity and comfort while each partner
continues to "work on their stuff". The "stuff" is
mainly one's unresolved issues from childhood (and for those with
clairvoyant vision, issues from past lives.)
It is essential for the karmic process that one should maintain
faith. It is smart and emotionally healthy to enter into partnerships,
be hurt, practice forgiveness, be healed, and be hurt again. This
process is a privilege.
Hanging onto anger, fear, and grief reactions from past relationships
(which are still very much alive in one's head!) prevents the karma from
being processed.
To Whom - and
to What - are we attracted?
Attraction is all about Matching
Energy. We humans are attracted to Others who possess
qualities we lack - but need and want - in order to psychically complete
ourselves. These may be "desirable" qualities or they
may be negative or destructive qualities. Typically the attraction
is quite unconscious: we find ourselves suddenly "in love"
with an apparently wonderful person, with whom we feel validated,
balanced, and complete. Even if there is negativity and tension in
the love relationship, its a comfortable, familiar sort of trouble that
seems just right.
Whether positive or negative or (most typically) an
interesting mix, this combination of qualities to which we are so
convincingly attracted is the right match. Each human is on a mission to
acquire the self-knowledge necessary to feel complete within
ourselves. We attract, and are attracted to, the partners with
whom we have a past-life agreement to work together on this grand
mission.
Direct knowledge of our own subconscious is, for most
people, totally blocked. The only way most of us can find out
what's really going on in that vast heap of past-life accrual called
"Self" is by watching our own thoughts, beliefs, and
behaviors played out in the mirror of our relationship to
Others. The most powerful of all Other-Mirrors is the marriage
partner.
The Mirror
In the Jyotisha charts, several leading
"Opposite" indicators show what your Mirror looks like.
The qualities of the One to whom we are deeply attracted will compose a
profile of the future spouse.
The radix (root, or natal) chart shows a
conscious,
material level of reality. The spouse's material attributes -
social position, publicly validated traits, overt behaviors, etc. - are
presented at the culturally agreed reality level. These features
one consciously wants, & feels attracted to.
At the social-material level, one expects this attribute-package to define
the Other in the marriage relationship. Upon this limited view of
the spouse, one expects to remain feeling happily completed, as the ritual
says "until death do us part".
Public attributes of spouse, from
radix:
-
7th-from-radix-lagna (rashi &
nakshatra)
-
7th-from-radix-Moon (rashi &
nakshatra)
-
7th-from-Shukra (rashi &
nakshatra)
-
7th-from-Arudha lagna (radix)
The marriage-mirror is complex.
Marriage has a
public (radix) reality and also a private (navamsha) reality.
Radix shows five-senses level of
common reality. Radix shows material outcomes, results, name, rank,
and serial number. The spouses career (10th-from-7th); the in-laws
(2nd-from-7th); the spouse's health (6th-from-7th). This information is in
the public domain.
The
navamsha (and all varga charts) show psychic origins of the material
results which manifest in the radix. Vargas display a deeper, more
personal astral pattern of subconscious expectations (held in past-life
memories). This astral pattern is embedded in the interstitial spaces of
the physical body. The varga charts can reveal this deeper, intuitive
level of expectation as it plays out psychically in the unfoldment of the
future.
For example, here is the
radix-navamsha of the film actress Angelina Jolie.
Jolie's three husbands (two legal
marriages and one union producing children) are all film actors and/or
models.
-
4th-from-lagna = spouse's
occupation = Thula
L-11 Shukra in lagna, these folks
make their living from their physical appearance
-
10th-from-7th-from-Chandra =
Mithuna
L-3/L-12 Budha in domain-11 yuti
Surya-Ketu, their livelihood involves talking in imaginary scenes (12)
and memorizing scripts along with intensive teamwork (3)
Navamsha is on the border between
public & private.
-
4th navamsha shows more what the
native wants her spouse to be doing, and that would be Kuja's
department: athlete, father (yuti Guru/Chandra) and master teacher
-
Material fact emerging from role of
lord of 4th D-9 in radix, is that the spouse's profession is the same
line of work as the native's father
-
evaluation starts to move from
material to psychological when entering the realm of navamsha.
-
Here Kuja as lord of 4th navamsha
shows this native chooses spouses who act a lot like her father (pun
intended).
-
Since Kuja with L-6 Guru is
inauspicious for father in domain-9 radix, there will be psychological
tension & conflict over the spouse's male-sexual-energy expression
within the father's profession as well.

The nativity below belongs to Bill
Clinton, 42nd President of the USA. Bill has been married only once (so
far) and his wife Hillary is very well known.
Hillary and Bill met in Yale Law
School, so clearly he was attracted to the fact that she was a lawyer.
According to Jyotisha, Bill was consciously or unconsciously seeking to
marry a powerful female attorney.
what is the Jyotisha evidence?
-
4th-from-lagna = spouse's
occupation = Dhanau (rashi of the Law)
L-4/L-7 Guru-Thula, vargottama in
domain-2, these folks make their living from crafting agreements
- esp. from balancing large-scale financial interests, via
Brihaspati
-
10th-from-7th-from-Chandra =
Karkata
L-11 Chandra in domain-8 = livelihood
involves large earnings, handling confidential investment knowledge,
dealing with insurance industry and its large pools of jointly
held assets
That fairly well describes Hillary R.
Clinton's paid law practice, and also her unpaid agreement-crafting work
as a diplomatic agent for her husband's political offices.
Navamsha is on the border between
public & private.
-
4th navamsha shows more what the
native wants his spouse to be doing, and that would be Chandra's
department: being a mother, handling confidential information (8) and
caring for the jointly held assets of marriage (managing their marital
wealth)
-
Material fact emerging from role of
lord of 4th D-9 in radix = aspects of the spouse's true profession are
somewhat hidden from public view (8) but her work is emotionally
essential to the welfare of the native

One is attracted to the spouse not only
because of their public match to one's recognized needs &
desires. One is also attracted to the seamy
underside of frustration, conflict & disappointment. One can
sense the "underbelly" coming intuitively (and the Jyotishi
sees this underbelly in the vargas). It forms a
major component of the attraction.
However one (typically) cannot
name or articulate navamsha dynamics because this underlying psychic
reality is unknown to the conscious mind. Only when the marriage
is established and the karmic struggle to define & purify the Self
really sets in, does one know the full character of that person to whom
one has
been so deeply attracted.
These subtler psychic traits are seen in:
-
7th (sometimes 1st) navamsha
-
7th-from-navamsha-Moon
[NB: Hart & deFouw use an "80/20" rule
for reading the navamsha that seems quite useful in practice.
That is, they use 7th navamsha & its lord to represent the first
spouse in about 80% of cases, whereas the 1st navamsha will actually
represent the spouse (and 7th navamsha represents the native) in about
20% of cases.]
IMO the single most accurate portrayal of the spouse
is found by examining the radix position of the navamsha lord of
L-7 (See some examples below.) Every attribute of this planet -
its sign, house, drishti upon it, nakshatra padaa, etc. should be
studied carefully to see the inner truth of this
partnership.
-
For second marriage, see lord of L-2's navamsha
sign;
-
for third marriage see lord of L-9's navamsha
sign;
-
etc.
It does happen that one partner enjoys the marriage
while the other does not. This will certainly be borne out in the
lord of L-7's navamsha compared in the two partner's charts.
see also: Matching
"UP" Toward Bliss: Understanding
Psychic Attraction & Repulsion on the Path of Partnership
Cross-over matching
points
There are always strong
"cross-over" correspondences between the two parties key axes
in radix and navamsha. There must be some cross-over between radix
and navamsha in order for a relationship to endure. I.e.,
radix-to-radix or navamsha-to-navamsha is not enough. There must
be at least one radix-to-navamsha match for a marriage to even occur -
much less succeed!
-
axes of radix lagna, radix
Chandra, and radix Nodes
-
axes navamsha lagna, navamsha
Chandra, and navamsha Nodes
One way to determine whether a
potential mate will become your married spouse (at the appointed time of
course) is to evaluate the number & strength of these
radix-navamsha connections between mutual Chandra, lagna, and
nodes.
Note that significant
"cross-over" radix-navamsha matching (which indicates
psychic affinity and mutual emotional recognition) will also occur in
other essential partnerships such as guru-sishya, parent-child, and
grandparent-grandchild.
These radix-navamsha connections
are not about marital sexuality. They are about psycho-emotional
bonding: being able to grow together within the field of shared
awareness, expectations, and perceptions.
Sometimes, key emotional axes are not
matched in the other partner's radix or navamsha. When this
happens, the un-validated party must find psycho-emotional validation in
another relationship.
Ideally there will be an emotionally
close sibling or spiritual friend who possesses the missing match.
That ideal friend will be able to "see" and give value to
these psychic realities which to the spouse are "invisible".
Some marriages with weak cross-matching cannot be sustained without
supplemental companionship.
Marriage
is "Commitment Yoga"
Marriage - especially the first marriage - is represented in the
radix chart by yuvati bhava, the
7th
house. "Yuvati" means "yoga" or
"yoke".
Marriage is the central yoga, the central balance point, the
central control, & the central discipline, of the entire life.
Even the ordained celibate religious are "married" to
their ishtadevata, the god of their heart.
Everyone has a primary
"Other" - whether that "Other" is a fleshly spouse, a
deceased spouse, a passionate ideal, or a spiritual spouse taken in holy vows of
ordination.
Everyone is "yoked" on some level to a mirroring,
judging, responding, participating partner.
Like any yoke - or yoga - marriage creates both stability and
bondage. Whether the public union of marriage is experienced as a blessing or a curse depends
on the condition of yuvati bhava, and its relationship to each of the other 11
houses of the radix chart.
The marriage yoke binds "self" (lagna
/ ascendant) to "other" (7th
house).
(See bhava
yoga page for more on
yokes.)
Two partners enter the Yoke like two oxen. After the yoke
is on, they have to work together, pulling in the same direction.
If they don't, it hurts - and nothing gets
accomplished.
If they do, a nice plowed field will manifest - and everybody,
including the oxen, will flourish.
Marriage as a
Public Contract
Despite the Euro-American
romanticizing of marriage as a strictly personal, emotional
decision, the Jyotisha view is that marriage is a very strategic
choice which must be carefully considered in light of its future
impact on the native's public standing.
Being 10th-from-10th,
marriage is a critically important social status indicator.
Social status is indicated in order of
importance by:
-
house-10
public authority & leadership role
-
house-7
(10th-from-10th) marriage status
-
house-4
(10th-from-10th-from-10th) property ownership
-
house-1
(10th-from-10th-from-10th-from-10th) physical appearance
Marriage conditions are of high
significance in social ranking and personal dignity. A strong
marriage to a helpful, enthusiastic, appreciative partner can hugely
assist career developments. The spouse and (by extension of the
signification of house-7) other peer partners in business and
community life, can potentially double one's effect in the world,
which increases the public recognition and approval defined in
house-10.
A weak marriage house bodes poorly
for the native's self-respect, and makes high levels of public
approval fairly inaccessible. And while a good 10th house might
"trump" a bad 7th house, it's unlikely that the native with
a severely damaged 7th house will be able to fully ascend the
ladder of social recognition no matter how excellent the
characteristics of karmaa bhava.
Unfinished marital business from past
lives
Details of the private side of marriage are
seen in navamsha, where the partners'
subconscious expectations (residue of unfinished marital business in past
lives) are exposed.
Without conscious intervention,
subconscious marriage programming will play out naturally, as if the native
were acting out a movie script.
Whether marriage is a blessing or a
curse depends a good deal on this navamsha script, and whether the native
possesses critical consciousness necessary to "edit" the script in
real time - i.e., while we are in the process of living it!
Editing requires conscious use of "forgiveness"
which is very demanding emotionally, and should only be attempted by those who
have reached sufficient levels of spiritual development.
Marriage not a Commodity,
Possession, Goal or Achievement (although it
is promoted as one!)
Sometimes I am asked to predict the timing of
marriage. This is a fairly easy thing to do in Jyotisha, but I am uncomfortable
doing it for clients who feel a great urgency to "get" married as a
way of satisfying their parents' demands, or protecting themselves against
social insecurity.
The whole idea of "getting" married
and the anxiety surrounding that process tends to disturb effective divination,
because it deprives the native of their earth grounding.
Marriage
Anxiety
Before attempting a marriage divination, I
like to make sure the client recognizes what they are asking for. Yes,
they are asking for the timing of an event - and that is what Jyotisha does
best! - but do they realize the significance of this event? How this event will
change their life forever, in an often very difficult and angry way?
So, I usually counsel anyone anxious about
marriage to note that despite intensive marketing of wedding products & our lifelong socialization
to "get" married as a major status achievement, marriage is in fact
not a fixed commodity. Marriage is, more than anything, a state of mind.
This seems to be an important level of
awareness for many marriage-timing clients, particularly those with
insecure, demanding parents.
First of all, we are benefited to
remember that guilt
causes reactive confusion and resulting poor decisions. Embarking upon
a marriage for the central purpose of to assuaging filial guilt will
perpetuate the guilt in the marriage environment.
Parents who push their children into
marriage to alleviate their own social insecurity are compounding the
marriage anxiety and making the astrologer's job hard to
accomplish!
The client who "needs to be
married within the next year" in order to satisfy some social
requirement (esp. parents) is likely to be entering a very low
consciousness marriage, and to not be using their own healing agenda as
a guide to choosing their marriage partner.
Yes I can see the timing of this event,
but I can also foresee the bitter consequences. The client
him/herself who demands marriage within a favorable time-and-money
framework rather than allowing the spiritual healing agenda to dictate
when they feel ready to take on a partner, is in "victim mode."
Such a person feels that marriage is an uncontrollable experience which
happens "to" one.
Nothing could be farther from the
truth.
Secondly, anxiety about loneliness,
inferior social status of single women, etc. are is also symptomatic of an
unconscious marriage. Unless bare physical survival is at stake, I like to
counsel clients to be aware that marriage will cause many more problems
than it solves.
These are good problems to have, of
course - the problems of intimate healing, the problems of sharing the
devastation of the cycle of birth and death with another being, the
problems of vital and vigorous negotiation of identity, of meaning, of
balance. Good problems to have.
Having a wedding will not solve your
problems. Having a wedding does create the possible conditions for
healing, but at least in the short run being married simply compounds the
scope and number of problems because there are two people's karma to
manage now.
I like to preface any anxious
consultation about the timing of marriage with a rather sober lecture on
taking responsibility for how this marriage unfolds, rather than
hyperventilating with unbearable uncertainty about the calendar day of the
ceremony.
If it wasn't for the vow, which makes
this union a truly sacred commitment, the day of the ceremony would have
no value at all. The real work is not in "getting" married but
in "being" married - for sure!
Rather, marriage
is a Living Yoga
As the old joke goes, everyone wants to
"get" married, but no one wants to "be" married. But of
course it is the "being married" which is the true reality.
There is really nothing to "get," except the social approval. All the
work & all the reward is loaded into the "being" part.
"Marriage" is actually a living
spiritual environment like a garden which must be lovingly tended, through
drought and frost, in good years & bad. It has weather cycles like the
earth. A long dry spell might kill it.
Much like a child, it is constantly in process, constantly
negotiating for change, and requires constant awareness & attention.
Clearly marriage is not a "thing"
or an "achievement" but rather an interactive process. Marriage is an
ongoing yoga: a vital & supremely demanding negotiation for self-definition, core meaning,
emotional
security, and higher truth.
Marriage is a sophisticated spiritual
practice which needs dedication & wise guidance. The core of
marriage practice is ongoing forgiveness
which allows us to register disappointment, anger, grief etc. Forgiveness allows
the native to accept responsibility for the karma, and - at the point of
acknowledgement - to release the addiction to suffering, by releasing the
attachment to the cause.
Marriage
Dharma
In particular, the Marriage house's location in
9th-from-11th
and 11th-from-9th
shows how marriage expresses the power of Dharma in the native's life.
Marriage partner brings Dharma (in the sense of Wisdom) to the
native in two essential ways:
-
as 9th-from-11th
the marriage partner emerges from the web of native's friendly associations,
as its finest fruit . Marriage partner is the Best & Wisest
Connection in the native's entire network of associations (11), and as such
the marriage partner attracts much prosperity
-
as 11th-from-9th
the marriage partner is the basis of "sangha" or community
of the wise. I.e, the marriage partner is one's Most Essential
Connection to the wisdom that gives permanent meaning to life.
Navamsha
Varga or "divisional" charts show the results
of any undertaking of life.
The varga for marriage is
Navamsha or 9th division, which shows the "fruits of Dharma."
Presuming an accurate birthtime, navamsha (D-9) will be
consulted side-by-side with radix (D-1) chart, to evaluate not only the
material but also the inner psychological dynamics of marriage.
Accurate predictions require concurrence between material
(d-1) and psycho-emotional (d-9) configurations. Normally there is
reasonable concurrence in the two perspectives. However, when the
navamsha and radix spousal indications are contradictory, there is usually to
be found a public/private split in which things look on the outside (d-1) much
different than they feel on the inside (d-9) in the marriage.
By and large there is also a matching pattern between:
-
your
navamsha and the partner's radix
-
the partner's navamsha and your radix
-
your navamsha and the partner's navamsha
-
Moon linkage plays a major role
These D-1-to-D-9 links show the issues on which you two
partners are spiritually working together. Traits which are dormant or subordinate in
partner-1 will be alive or dominant in partner-2. Thus each partner
"mirrors" the other's arising consciousness, and facilitates spiritual
growth by evoking astral imagery into real world action.
The navamsha reveals
traits, desires, hopes, dreams, fears, etc. which are dormant but trying to rise
into consciousness in your life. You find the partner who is already acting
these out in the material world. You are intensely attracted to this
person; they are everything you admire, everything you crave, everything you
want to be. This person completes you; expresses you; forms your
"other half".
Naturally, you marry them!
Examine each house in Navamsha
from the appropriate partner lagna to know the level of your soul that is just now
moving from subconscious to conscious. We usually need
partners to bring out this new personality growth in us. (Even if that
partner is the ishtadevata.)
-
navamsha 7th house represents first marriage
spouse; navamsha lagna is you
-
navamsha 2nd house represents second marriage
spouse; navamsha 8th house is you
-
navamsha 9th house represents third marriage
spouse; navamsha 3rd house is you
Yoked Work:
Managing marital cycles
of Attraction-Repulsion,
& Desire-Contempt
Every action has a reaction. Every attraction contains its
own repulsion. Ask any good
Buddhist: if you are intensely attracted to something now, rest assured you will be
intensely repulsed by that same thing in the future!
A significant part of the
"work" of marriage is learning to manage the cycles of desire and
contempt one feels toward one's partner over long periods of time.
All marriages are timed by Rahu-Ketu,
which means that all marriages involve attraction-repulsion.
-
In a love marriage, you personally are attracted
& (later) repulsed - typically by the psycho-emotional qualities of
the partner.
-
In an arranged marriage your guardians are
attracted-repulsed - typically by the social-material qualities of the
partner.
But in either case Desire (which eventually boomerangs to
Contempt) plays a major karmic role in Marriage. The karmic forces behind marriage are so strong that it seems not to
matter much whether one "chooses" one's mate through
"falling" in love -- or allows that mate to be chosen by one's social
guardians. When it is time for the karmic partner to find you, they will
find you!
It
is often observed in modern India, where arranged marriages remain fairly
common, that the success rate of arranged marriages approximately equals
the success rate of "love marriages." That is, about 50%
of marriages are satisfying; 50% problematic - regardless of whether they are
romantic or arranged.
The big-picture view is that, no matter what social mechanism selects
the mate, we will all create (through impetus of samskara) a spouse/series of spouses who perfectly match our karmic
job description :)
The big-picture view is that, no matter what social mechanism selects
the mate, we will all create (through impetus of samskara) a spouse/series of spouses who perfectly match our karmic
job description :)
Yoked Work:
Maintaining
the Intention to Reach Agreement
Successful Marriage requires
discipline, self-knowledge, and moral effort. Marriage can only survive when there is agreement on how to conduct the division of
karmic labor. The higher the agreement
level, the easier the partnership.
-
Physical work: not only doing
the labor, but agreeing on how to do it, requires constant attention.
-
Spiritual work: For those who feel ready to accept the austerity,
marriage can be a high-speed vehicle toward consciousness.
There is never
perfect agreement (as long as humans have egos, anyway) and so
there is never an effortless marriage.
Whom will I marry?
-- Know who is
"The One" by knowing your purpose.
If your seventh radix, seventh navamsha, 7th-from-Moon, and
Venus are agreeable to marriage,
then you will marry the person WHOM YOU CREATE in your quest to to reach
the next step in your search for the divine.
Each spouse has a key to one essential aspect of their
partner's True Self. The process of coming to knowing the full range of your
True Self offers one very viable path toward knowledge of the divine.
Fully
knowing You - in all your terrible beauty - is a quite effective way of exposing
the presence of That Which Dwells Within.
And who better to expose you :)
than your spouse?
It's their job.
If either partner is significantly traumatized,
marriage can be a completely unconscious, reactive dramatization of subconscious
motives during which very little self-knowledge or movement toward realization of
the divine takes place.
Since most people are pretty heavily traumatized,
unconscious marriage is unfortunately the norm.
However if you are blessed with a conscious or even partly
aware marriage, it is not hard to recognize that you & your spouse have
clearly attracted each other for a salient purpose: to provide each other with the
most intimate mirror of "the missing parts" of your inner selves.
These missing parts are the aspects of personality about which we are
"missing" important information, of which we lack recognition - until
the partner through feedback reveals that information.
By marriage I mean the religious not the legal
definition. Religious marriage is a spiritual union made sacred through
speaking a vow.
The marriage partner has a unique combination of good/bad
-easy/difficult traits that are designed to both comfort and disturb.
The comfort is from similar hopes & dreams, habits
& pleasures. The disturbing factor is "matching
energy" - matching pain, matching anxiety, similar childhood trauma,
etc.
Psychologically, "The One" is a personality that
has many of the most difficult, conflicted, or inaccessible traits of your
most difficult parent. Most people have the most trouble during the
childhood interaction with their opposite-gender parents.
As a general
rule, women have more trouble with their fathers
and men have more trouble with their mothers.
Yet some men have more
trouble with their fathers and some women have more work to do with their
mothers.
And some folks are raised in communal settings, by religious orders, or
in other parenting arrangements that are not so easy to identify the
gender-reaction patterns.
Past lives, which are stored in the subconscious, do play a
role in childhood relationships with parents & caregivers.
Alternative
Sexual Orientation Unions
Certainly the lines between gay vs. straight marriages are increasing
blurred as modern societies move out of survival urgency and sex-role divisions
of labor fade into history...
Yet, in these early years of the second millennium,
it is generally the case that a majority of women experience greater emotional
difficultly connecting with their father, and conversely majority of men
experience greater emotional difficultly connecting with their mother.
In order
to continue their most significant spiritual work and break through their most
challenging inner barriers, most women desire marriage to men, and most men to
women as the most direct method of revealing and healing their childhood trauma
with the opposite gender parent.
But what if the greater difficulty, blocked emotional
access, negligence, lack of expected guidance and nurturing, even physical
abuse, is linked with the same gender parent? Then, it is more likely that the subconscious
will direct the native into a same-gender relationship.
Men with men & women with women follow the same
psycho-spiritual logic of attracting a spouse who mirrors that
comfortable-but-oh-so-frustrating energy of the more difficult parent (including
difficulty caused by absence).
But their most difficult parent will hail from
the same gender. These natives need to cross their inner fear barriers -
barriers constructed in the subconscious which greatly limit freedom and
happiness in the conscious life - by getting their healing information from the mirror
of a same-gender spouse.
Natives who follow a pattern of both straight and gay
unions within one lifetime, are similarly gaining missing knowledge that was
originally sought from both parents, alternately.
Natives raised by
same-gender parents composed of two men or two women in life partnership, will
probably have the same results as children historically raised by
mother-grandmother /father-grandfather or two-sister/two brother pairs; that is,
they will seek a spouse who mirrors whichever parent-partner was more complex or
difficult.
Sex of the spouse will tend toward the sex of the difficult
parent as in conventional unions, but at this point in the logic we need to be
able to distinguish between sex and gender.
How
to Know Who You're Going to Marry
The psycho-spiritual purpose of marriage is to work
out the problems one had, in childhood, with the more-difficult parent.
If you are looking for a marriage partner, it is fairly
straightforward to define who that person is and when you might be ready to
receive them into your life.
Just be honest
about your struggle to achieve complete emotional access to & validation from
your more difficult parent.
If you can define that struggle, you can
define your next spouse!
Sugar and Vinegar
Marriage is "yoked" sugar and vinegar. The
sugar comes first, but the sugar is designed to seduce you with shared hopes
& dreams, and extract from you a commitment. The sugar is soon joined
by the vinegar. The vinegar is spiritually essential! The higher purpose of
marriage - which is healing - is only possible to achieve if the vinegar is
present!
There must be pain, confrontation, disappointment, and grief in
marriage... if there weren't, there would be no motive for the native to examine
their subconsciously driven reactions. Only by examining our reactions can the
hidden holdings of the subconscious be exposed.
The struggle to heal deeper pain and experience higher
freedom will go to phase-2 in your first marriage,
phase-3 in your second marriage, and so forth. The struggle for one lifetime
might start and finish within a
single marriage (check palm lines to confirm). However the full healing
endeavor can easily entail 2, 3 or more marriages in the modern era. The
healing process can also go from gay
to straight unions, and vice versa.
If you know your own healing agenda well enough, you'll be able to spot
that next spouse at 500 yards.
Seeing the One, that Great Mirror, via Yogas
from Sun & Moon
We can see through radix and navamsha charts how your subordinate trait patterns
(navamsha) attract partners who manifest precisely those trait patterns but in a
dominant, confident style (radix) -- and vice versa.
In other words, see
areas of life where you are weak, have low permission, restricted access, and
therefore need help to balance yourself. You'll need partners (including
the Ishtadevata) to help step-wise acquisition of balanced intelligence and
capability in weak areas. And so you shall attract them!
A key feature in those patterns is the gender-associated behaviors of Sun
and Moon. Sun Surya/Guru
represent the father's expansive rational authority, and Moon/Shani are the
mother's conservative intuitive control.
In conventional marriages, a woman's husband can be seen through planetary yogas
formed by her Surya/Guru in both radix & navamsha, and a man's wife through
planetary yogas formed by his Chandra/Shani in both D-1 and D-9.
Yogas of Surya and Soma which also engage Shukra, navamsha lagna, Rahu-Ketu axes
in either D-1 or D-9, or key players in marriage (such as the mahadasha pati of
a long-running, marriage-related mahadasha) are especially potent for defining
the characteristics of the spouse.
Jyotisha
and Gender Symbolism
In non-conventional unions, the symbolism of Sun as
"masculine" and Moon as "feminine" will signify father and
mother, husband and wife, reason and intuition, etc. One of the strongest and
most satisfying energetic pairings is male-Sun with female-Moon. This Sun-Moon
configuration is both interpersonally and socially validating, and it
contributes a major endurance factor into any partnership.
However, it is critically important to be intellectually
vigilant in Jyotisha analysis of alternate sexual orientation unions. Gender
is a psycho-social construct! "Masculine" is a gender term
which can be understood independently of anatomical sex.
"Masculine" energy is present in both male and female
bodies.
The Sun-male/Moon-female balance works just as well
emotionally and is just as socially sanctioned, when it occurs between a male
guru and a male student, in a naturally dominant-subordinate or
manifest-dormant type of wisdom relationship, such as guru-sisya.
The partner whom one attracts for the purpose of balancing
a weakness of "Surya" energy will have - relative to oneself -
significant "masculine" qualities such as stronger public
presentation, more rational decisiveness, better developed (even overdeveloped)
Ego.
The partner who is attracted in order to help balance a
weakness of "Chandra" will have significant "feminine"
qualities such as stronger listening skills, more patience, better developed
intuition, and emotional sensitivity than the native.
-
Since women are, in general, given less social
permission to run rational, decisive energy
-
and men are, in general, given less social permission
to run intuitive, perceptive energy,
-
the general patterns for women seeking public
recognition through men
-
and men seeking family stability through women,
-
are well known.
However, despite the general patterns, there is no
fixed requirement that this helper should have any particular anatomical
attributes.
Masculine energy does have a natural affinity for the male
body, and male bodies are usually happiest running about 90%
male/10% female energy. However male bodies can tolerate different
fuel mixes over the short term, up to about 30% female energy, especially when
caring for their young.
Female bodies run 70-80% female/30-20% male energy
optimally. However female bodies are fully capable of running as much as
50% male energy in leadership settings, which puts them in the perfect Sun-Moon
balance during times of crisis. (I.e., women are much better suited to
balanced leadership roles.)
Therefore healing, conscious intimate partnerships are
legitimate and available in virtually every configuration of Sun, Moon, male,
and female.
Timing:
When?
Meeting the partner:
Sanjay Rath
opines that the native will Meet
their first spouse during a period of
Shukra.
This is often
true. Shukra bhukti script often brings a highly attractive person into the
field of one's perception.
Virtually any bhukti of the Shukra mahadasha
can also bring the future spouse into one's range of view.
However, I have noticed that a future spouse is also met in
periods of navamsha L-1 or L-7, or Rahu.
-
The
first psychic attraction occurs during a Vimshottari period of Shukra [or
navamsha L-1 or navamsha L-7] whether the native
is male or female.
-
However,
for a traditionally religious woman who expects to receive her education, values,
worldview, & abundance passively through her husband, and who is
expecting a transcendent love relationship (frequently non-sexual) with the
husband in a protective, fatherly role, attraction/introduction may possibly occur during a bhukti of
Guru.
-
It is also
possible although much less common to meet the future spouse in periods of
Rahu-Ketu or Shani, particularly if Rahu-Ketu are giving the effects of
navamsha L-1/L-7, or Shukra. A partner first encountered in Shani
bhukti will have a very somber presentation, characterized not by romance
but by harsh necessity. But, sometimes, life is this way.
-
The definition of "meeting" is
very flexible :) - generally "meeting" means a real-world social introduction, but
in some cultures the spouse can be
known only to your parents, or can be known to you only in dreams.
Three Jyotisha
Rules of Marriage Timing
Three conditions must be met for
the timing of marriage:
-
Any of the following "marriage-maker"
Vimshottari bhuktis must
occur.
-
bhukti of the lord of the 1st or
7th navamsha
-
bhukti of Shukra
or Rahu (Rahu frequently indicates marriage to a person from another
culture or religion)
-
in circumstances of scarcity,
servitude, or social pressure, a bhukti of Shani
(Shani-timed marriage is associated with
urgency of time-and-materials constraints: a pregnancy, or
remarriage to protect existing children, or political requirements)
-
very rare: Ketu
period can induce a spiritual, unconsummated marriage
-
Gochara
Rahu-Ketu must
be traveling through any of the following seven lagnas:
-
navamsha lagna or navamsha axis of
natal nodes
-
radix lagna or radix axis of natal
nodes
-
radix axis of natal Chandra
-
navamsha axis of natal Chandra
-
radix axis of natal Shukra
-
The graha which
triggers marriage must have a radix-activated
navamsha lord. I.e., the navamsha lord of the marriage-maker
must ALSO be marriage-empowered in radix.
-
For example, a Rahu bhukti during a
qualifying Rahu-Ketu transit might look like the perfect recipe for an
impulsive marriage.
-
However, Rahu's desires will not
drive a passionate attraction all the way into a wedding ceremony if
navamsha Rahu occupies a rashi of conservative Shani. (unless,
perhaps, Shani is also L-1 or L-7 navamsha...)
-
However, if navamsha Rahu occupies
a rashi of "natural" marriage-maker Shukra
In addition, the native should have marriageable
age & status, according to the customs of their own culture.
The most typical, most classic
"marriage and family" Jyotisha timing is when the native enters
this Vimshottari pattern :
-
Shukra mahadasha (gives the romance and
love of material comfort)
-
Rahu bhukti (gives the passionate
attraction)
-
gochara Rahu-Ketu contacting one of the
key lagnas (gives the identity-change behaviors)
then, following immediately after Rahu
bhukti comes
-
Shukra/Guru period (gives the children)
-
Shukra/Shani period (gives the heavy
responsibility for structured parenting roles, social expectations, &
requirement to provide material support.)
This is a typical timeline. There are of
course many interesting varieties of marriages, and many ways to experience the
marriage-and-family trajectory; nevertheless it is good to recognize the most
common pattern.
Marriage
timing schedule implicit in the Bhuktis:
-
Even if Shani is neither L-1 nor L-7
navamsha, Bhuktis of Shani can be marriage-makers when the native
is under intense mental or physical pressure of survival.
The typical case of Shani-driven marriage is a widow/er who 'must' remarry
in order to care for their children. The pressure may be clearly
material (starvation, servitude) or more social (marginalization,
humiliation). The marriage will tend to be duty-oriented.
-
Bhuktis of Shukra often provide
the enchantment of falling in love with a physically or financially
attractive person. The marriage promises material comfort, luxury and
sweet companionship, according the character of Shukra in nativity. The
marriage will tend to be focused on physical beauty, sensual indulgence
& material ease, with a relatively low tolerance for illness,
austerity or hard work.
-
Bhuktis of Rahu create
"hot-house" marriages marked by psychological possessiveness,
deep trauma, taboo-breaking, intense psycho-sexual attraction, and
the passionate rush to a quick wedding. Typically the partner is a
'foreign' person from a different culture, religion, or social class than
the native. The marriage will tend to focus on crossing cultural &
psychological boundaries in pursuit of deep desires.
-
Bhuktis of the lords of the first or
seventh navamshas create a deep psychological compensation or
mirroring attraction. Each partner is mesmerized by the other, who
expresses their own dormant traits in a more active, public way. The
marriage will tend to focus on public/private & inner/outer division
of social and psychological labor.
About second marriage:
IMO, if you are more than 30 years old, don't panic regarding the
doomsday statistics for second marriage. Prognosis is good for second
marriage in general, presuming the native has matured emotionally during Shani return
age 28-31 and Rahu return age 27-29.
Although overall divorce statistics are
highly unfavorable for second marriages (with some 65%+ of second marriage
ending in divorce) those figures are badly skewed by the very high
percentage of second marriages contracted when the spouses are under age 25, which end in divorce.
The frightening 2nd-marrriage
statistics are largely due to couples whose first marriage occurs at 17-20
and second marriage at 21-24.
Partners older than age 45 at time of second
marriage have extremely low divorce rates (as do first marriages made
after age 35 generally.)
Partners who are both
university educated also have much lower divorce statistics.
Emotional maturity
(L-4, Chandra) and education (L-4, Budha) are very positive
factors in marriage longevity!
Timing:
Second
Marriage
Traditionally, bhukti of lord-of-2nd-from-Shukra will introduce the second spouse.
Second marriage ceremony
(For a detailed analysis of
navamsha activation in a sample nativity, please see Timing
from Navamsha & Gochara Nodes.)
Timing:
Third
Marriage:
Traditionally, bhukti of
lord-of-9th-from-Shukra will introduce the third spouse.
Timing:
Fourth
Marriage
Traditionally, bhukti of
lord-of-4th-from-Shukra will introduce the fourth spouse.
"Proper time for marriage:
Celebrating marriage is auspicious when the Sun is
in the signs of
-
Gemini
-
Aquarius,
-
Capricorn,
-
Scorpio,
-
Taurus and
-
Aries.
If the Sun is in the sign of Gemini,
then in the month of Ashadha it is only from the
Pratipada (the first Tithi of the month) to the 10th Tithi in the Shukla
Paksha or the Bright Half of the month that the celebrating of marriage is
auspicious.
If the Sun is in the sign of Scorpio
if he is in the sign of Capricorn,
if he is in the sign of Aries,
~~ BPHS, Ch 6, Shloka 13
Q: Will the second spouse make a better contribution to the joint wealth of
the marriage than the first spouse?
-
2nd-from any
house is the wealth from that house. 2nd-from-7th
or randhra
bhava is the wealth of the spouse, particularly the first spouse.
-
8th-from-lagna
and 8th-from-Moon
and 8th navamsha
show your in-laws-- the family, wealth, and values of the first
spouse. The combined profile of these three joint-asset angles
defines the joint assets of the first marriage. Remember dhana
is not only material wealth but aesthetic values and attitude toward wealth
in its spiritual, mental, and emotional manifestations. A good
attitude toward money and a clean heart attracts money; the reverse also
proves true!
-
8th-from-2nd-from-lagna
or dharma
bhava and 8th-from-2nd-from-Moon
and 8th-from-2nd-navamsha,
or 9th-D9) characterize your in-laws -- the family,
wealth, and values attached to the second spouse. The combined
profile of these three joint-asset angles defines the joint assets of the
second marriage.
Q: Is the chance of "survival" for a marriage
better if we choose
to be married during the "appropriate" Bhukti or is that just a period of
increasing likelihood of marriage?
A: Marriages pretty much occur on schedule of the vimshottari dasha. It is
actually not possible to experience a marriage unless the planets are lined up
correctly. (Humans don't have the power to control major life events,
regardless of what we learn in the public schools!)
The benefit of Jyotisha in the modern age is not so much marriage
"insurance" via ritual protection of the planets (which certainly
used to be Jyotisha's central function) but rather "mental health"
advantage of knowing when these key life events are most likely to occur.
(The only exception is the negative "warning" function that a
Rahu bhukti is likely to signal a crazy, exotic marriage... which one might
wish if karmically possible to decline!)
First marriage occurs during the bhukti of the proper lord plus a gochara Rahu-Ketu contact point. Bhukti
of the subsequent navamsha lords with corresponding Rahu-Ketu transits brings
subsequent marriages. A more-or-less auspicious day or month within the
destined bhukti may be "chosen" by the marriage partners or their parents, but
the timing of marriages is rather a karmic affair, with larger forces
enforcing
the schedule.
The "chance of survival" of the first (or any other) marriage depends on
how fast the person is changing in this lifetime. The first marriages of
people in traditional cultures nearly always "survive" their full lifetimes
because there is not much growth/change allowed in cultures where stability is
prized above creativity.
In cultures like ours that value creativity and
newness, there is high permission for changing ego structure, i.e. redefining
who we are - perhaps several major redefinitions during a single lifetime.
Major changes in a person's worldview will mandate a change of those primary
relationships which confirm and support our identity. We can peel through so
many karmic layers with the advantages of elite education, tremendous amount
of free time for therapy and reflection, and sex-positive culture that drives
us through relationship after relationship like a house of mirrors. It is
possible to have several VERY USEFUL, spiritually legitimate marriages.
So in the west our
family arrangements including spouse change much more frequently. Traditional
cultures (or more traditional families within the generally pro-change greater
western culture) may interpret creativity as instability; change-oriented
cultures will interpret stability as stagnation.
If "unstable" (read: creative, innovative, open-minded, or
healing-from-trauma) planets control the axis of the first or subsequent
marriages, these marriages may be tumultuous and brief or at least not
life-long.
On the other hand if the axis for a particular marriage is "stable"
there may be a very long commitment praised by outer society which on a
personal level may require major compromise, adaptation, and not infrequently
repression/oppression.
Long answer to your short question, but the prognosis for a given
marriage (in the modern west) involves evaluating the spiritual purpose that marriage is designed
to serve. If the person is working through major emotional trauma in this
life, the "survival" of particular marriage may be intentionally brief.
Having said that, I do agree that the small choices we can make, as to
choosing an auspicious day and location, are very beneficial to the spiritual
well-being of the partners joined in that holy ceremony.
Not because our small
human choices can override the greater plan, but because in seeking to choose
the most harmonious conditions we are expressing a higher consciousness and a
desire to work hand-in-hand with the divine, which is always a helpful
attitude to sustain in every day of a working marriage.
Higher consciousness
partners who consider themselves bound to each other through the divine, will
generally enjoy their marriages much more than those bound to each other in
order to satisfy parents, religion, or government. So choosing an auspicious
day and inviting the spirits to be present at the joining ceremony is a
powerful evidence of the partners' mutual desire for a long and "fruitful" marriage.
What
counts as a marriage?
In practice
there may be an early, impulsive, brief, childless legal marriage - less
than three months duration - in which vows were spoken while drugged or
in a confused state of mind. These rare, deceptive pseudo-marriages are
"null" and do not count as "first marriage".
It has been
common practice in many cultures worldwide and especially now in the
modern west, for partners to enjoy long-term exclusive sexual
partnerships, especially in youth. However, there is still a
difference between these often deeply healing, loving relationships and a real marriage
-- at least for the
purpose of calculating the timing of future
marriages. The difference is, were vows taken?
Most often the
live-in partnership, while mimicking marriage in terms of division of
labor, is explicitly *not* a marriage spiritually speaking, because the
partners explicitly decline to take sacred vows.
-
Possibly a marriage
might be **a relationship which produces a conception** - however brief! The
date of marriage is the date of conception. This situation is
unusual but possible. However, very often a relationship which
produces a live child even if vows were never spoken, can count as a
marriage. Sometimes the child acts as the vow-holder.
When
counting houses to find your current or future spouse, be sure to consider all
vows and all conceptions, or your understanding of which house
matches which spouse may be inaccurate.
"To judge the suitability of a couple,
-
the features of their feet, hands, etc.
-
the influence of Moon's position,
-
the Ascendant,
-
the time of query,
-
the behavior of the crow towards the oblation offered to it
-
and the omens
should be taken into consideration by the learned astrologer and then only the marriage should be performed since the marital union is the most fundamental ritual in the life of mankind."
~~ Jataka Desha Marga, Ch. 14, shloka 44-45
Q: I lived with my faithful sexual partner for 30
years ... but we never got legally married.
He proposed numerous times but I wanted to develop
my career so I always turned him down. Also, looking back, I see that he
was doing a lot of parenting for me. Eventually we split up.
I'm ready to get married now and I'm looking for the
astrological indicators that would tell me the timing of marriage. Should
I consider that long-term, live-in, committed relationship to be my first
marriage? How should I look for the timing of my second
marriage?
A: The vidya of Jyotisha sees true marriage
as validated by either (1) vows spoken,
by the partners or their priests --- or -- (2) a child born through the union.
Even long-term, emotionally committed, healing, monogamous relationships
(which are so common here in the West) are not
considered marriages. Even when partners love each other
sincerely,
but for their own reasons never advance to the taking of vows, is not
considered a marriage.
The early relationship you mention -- even though it contained a proposal of
marriage -- in fact never advanced to the spoken vows. It is not a
Jyotisha marriage,
unless a child was born through that union.
Non-vow
partnerships in Domain-11 and Domain-5
Long, committed non-vow partnerships may be found via
either the house of Romance (domain-5) or the house of Friendship and Goals
(domain-11), depending on the nature of the commitment.
In practice, I find that most of the longer term non-vow
sexual partnerships = domain-11. In matters of labha bhava, much
progress is made toward individual goals. Large networks of friendship are
built and much information exchanged. Two friends are deeply supporting each
other in pursuit of individual goals but retain their separate identities.
There is no socially approved & shared goal which would drive the partners
toward marriage. These committed friendships, with or without a sexual
dimension, can be very happy social arrangements which sustain for many years!
Domain-5 relationships are poetic, imaginative,
and intensely projecting. The partners are "in love" in a childlike,
creative, and individualized way - but they are not ready to assume the contractual
obligations of marriage.
The couple are projecting their individual
"intelligence" -- psychic imagery, emotional need, wishful
expectation, & transformative desire -- upon each other. Yet, due to youthfulness
(chronological or psychological) with its natural love of creativity and
options for change, the relationship does not enter the adult contractual
phase. Marriage, indeed, is a promise not to change!
Unlike domain-11 non-vow partnerships, domain-5 love
affairs tend to be short duration. They produce marvelous feelings of
childlike wonder and desire unto bliss, but lack the "kendra"
foundation of a lifetime promise.
Is this
person a good partner for me? Is this "The One"?
You will know, if you have met someone
special in a period of Venus (or 2nd-from-Venus for 2nd marriage) AND an appropriate bhukti
AND one of the required
Rahu-Ketu transits will soon apply, that you are likely to be getting
married in the near future. Not guaranteed, of course, but generally the two
factors of correct house-lord bhukti plus nodal movement makes marriage quite
likely indeed.
Usually, if the timing is right, it's
"the One" (or second One or third One) and that person is "good
for you" spiritually whether being "good for you" is "easy" - or
not.
Some marriages, especially those undertaken
during period of Rahu, might better be avoided by those with the
self-knowledge to avoid them. But this is a Catch-22 statement because
it is precisely the Rahu-dominated folks who can't
avoid these marriages due to intense, past-life-rooted passions which strongly tend to make
history repeat itself. Rahu gives burning desires for pleasure,
excitement, tumultuous change, and uprising of subconscious patterns into
consciousness. If your
consciousness
permits a higher awareness of your repeating desire patterns, you can
avoid unfavorable marriages entirely by working out some other type of
partnership [business, caretaking, service] with the object of your Rahu-driven
passions.
This conscious reengineering of an
attraction is rare, because most people have a quite limited understanding of
spirit, and therefore confuse the sexual, social, and spiritual purposes of marriage.
However if you are one of the rare ones, take it as a principle of good life
to avoid being married in a bhukti of Rahu because Rahu greatly amplifies the
power of past-life desire.
Whatever happens, marriage is a major part
of life karma. You can have your cake and eat it too if you think of each new significant
partnership or marriage as a healing. Healings work in
surprising ways. Sometimes they are quite painful. Be willing to be
surprised, as your partner shows you new information about yourself.
If you are attracted to a partner, their information is
by default "good for you" spiritually in that the soul has assigned
this person to bring you valuable spiritual information about yourself.
Each partner evokes from us, a manifestation of our dormant intelligence.
Each partner plays the "other half". Each partner makes us
whole. This is true even if your partner is abusive or deceitful.
They still have a piece of your jigsaw puzzle; they are still your spiritual
friend, helping you clear the path to the divine. Even if it seems like
they are creating obstacles, in reality those are *your* obstacles and you want
to own them so that you can solve the dilemma and *you* can move
forward.
The navamsha will give you a fairly clear
picture of the dormant traits in yourself which attract persons with more
empowered versions of those traits in relationships. Study your navamsha
to learn which jigsaw puzzle pieces you are collecting in this life. Your
rashi chart shows your conscious developed personality, but the navamsha shows
the level of you which is just rising to consciousness. Study the navamsha
to see who you are trying to become. Then, be delighted when the people
who are already intensely using those traits show up in your life on schedule!
Marriage
conflict, & Dusthanas
12th-from-7th = house-6, is
the repository of most of life's chronic conflicts. House-6 shows loss
of balance, loss of partnership, loss of agreement. Physical conflicts
that create dis-ease, emotional conflicts that create chronic argumentativeness,
moral conflicts that attract punishers, spiritual conflicts that spread
animosity throughout the native's associations - all of these manifest in
house-6.
The core partnership of
life is marriage. We mean by marriage the committed vow-taking
partnership between any two beings, including beings of the same gender
& difference genders, and commitments between beings in a body such as a
spiritual celibate in a monastery and their body-free ishtadevatas /Gods of
their heart. The proof of the marriage is not the legal certificate or
the parental approval. The proof of the marriage is the vow.
Since the core partnership
of life is marriage, the nativity with strong grahas in house-6 is very
likely prone to marriage conflict. In most areas of life, malefic grahas
in a dusthana neutralize evil and they are therefore ultimately beneficial.
However, malefics in a dusthana will always have a negative effect on
marriage.
-
Malefics in house-6 signify
chronic internal conflict within the native's own personality. The
more intense the malefics, the strong the drishti upon Ripu bhava, the
deeper the native's interior personality conflict and the more difficult
they will find it to establish agreements with those "mirrors of the
self" who are their intimate partners. Those who suffer deep internal
conflict usually cannot tolerate the discomfort; they become victims who
blame outside forces for their suffering; and their first blame target is
often the spouse.
-
Malefics in house-8
typically signify conflict with in-laws, since house-8 as
2nd-from-7th represents the spouse's family. Again, for some
purposes, a malefic in house-8 can be a good thing because the houses
ruled by that malefic are prevented from causing much trouble when their
lord is "destroyed: in Randhra bhava. However for marriage,
in-law conflict signified by malefics in house-8 can be very straining,
and in some cases cause the demise of the marriage.
-
Malefics in house-12
signify persons, substances or behaviors which are "enemies of the
marriage" because house-12 = 6th-from-7th. House-12 is very
private. Vyaya bhava includes meditation and sanctuary, bed
pleasures and secret liaisons.
Malefics in house-12 can
make a person psycho-emotionally disturbed because their sleep is ruined or
they have terrible dreams. Marriage counselors would label most
12-house activities as "exit strategies" from marriage:
"mushrooming out" in front of the television,
Even otherwise beneficial
effects of house-12 like spiritually guided meditation do have negative
effects on marriage, because they cause the person to leave the partnership
and enter into a closed sanctuary space - frequently with a competing love
interest, who is a deity or set of exclusive practices.
Shukra in house-12 is
associated with addictive behaviors. Addictive substances such as
drugs and alcohol are definitiely the enemies of marriage!
House-12 also rules
long-distance, long-term travel such as foreign assignments. Long
journeys are also the enemy of marital intimacy - even if they produce other
benefits like business profits which support the spouse and family
materially.
-
L-7 occupying house-6,
house-8, or house-12 is unfortunate, and usually indicates a difficult
marriage.
|
More
information
about marriage from the D-1 & D-9 charts |
|
D-1 Moons |
Relationship
between the partners' respective Moon lords will tell about
overall emotional harmony in the marriage. E.g., Mesha Moon and
Meena Moon although 2/12 have friendly lords, which assists
compatibility. |
Opposite moon pairs, such as his=Virgo,
hers=Pisces, are auspicious for emotional balance and mutual cooperation
in marriage.
However the benefits of opposite-pairing are
reduced when Moon lords are unfriendly, such as Leo-Aquarius,
Moon in same rashi is excellent but beware both
partners will get hit with Sade Saati
at the same time. |
|
D-1
Lagna |
Relationship
between the partners' Lagna lords will tell about physical harmony |
Opposite lagnas,
opposite Venus-Mars can give lasting physical attraction. Same lagna is
also very compatible. |
|
D-1
Sun |
Aspects between Moon and Sun display private vs. public
role coordination. Psycho-emotionally these aspects reveal the
mother/father balance in each person.
- or -
is excellent |
Sun [Surya] occupying in
7th
gives a broadly independent streak to the spouse. Surya here tends
to attract partners who, while they may be very loving, also have
their own way of doing things.
On the plus side, Ravi in 7th gives strong
negotiation & contract-agreement skills, so that you are also
gifted to craft rational agreements between partners (presuming
each Mercury position is OK). Do not expect
much "natural" or emotional-affinity-based concord between the
spouses when Surya occupies 7th radix or 7th navamsha.
Surya represents the rational intelligence
& leadership. Expect to do a lot of negotiating in marriage
because both partners are strong-willed & self-concerned. |
|
Venus
(Shukra) |
shows love
attracted;
rules incoming pleasures |
To be happy over the long term,
a couple must derive pleasure from at least some of the
same habits, customs, ways of spending time & money,
etc. Coordinated Venus positions really help.
Venus in 7th makes
a person physically attractive and highly skilled in the erotic arts,
but their sensual nature is strong enough to extend their affections to
a second marriage when that time comes.
Usually the first spouse is quite attractive if Venus in 7th is strong.
Venus in the 7th house means two marriages, because there
is "overflow" when Venus occupies his own house.
The first marriage may be very satisfying in its day, but eventually a
second marriage should be expected (during some future bhukti of lord of
the 2nd navamsha). |
|
Mars
(Kuja, Mangala)
kuja dosha |
shows love
projected,
gives outgoing sexual energy |
Two opposing Mars, or Mars opposing Moon,
may create a powerful emotional/sexual attraction initially. But unless other planets step in to smooth communication,
Mars makes fights.
The two partners' Venus & Mars
positions reveal sexual communication style. These styles
determine physical, emotional, and possibly spiritual
sexual compatibility. |
|
Mercury |
profiles communication abilities |
compatible Mercury positions are a major blessing,
allowing the couple good internal communication
Buddha characteristics also contribute to education levels; similarly
educated people have high levels of cultural agreement that is a benefit
in marriage |
|
Jupiter
shows wisdom, open-mindedness,
and religious nature
|
represents religion, values, & consciousness, blessings earned in past
life.
The couple's charts should
show either religious agreement or personal respect (good
Jupiter aspects to Sun, Mars, Mercury). Otherwise,
arguments about ethics & religion can destroy mutual
trust. |
The person whose D-1 Jupiter conjuncts or trines your D-1 Moon
will protect you and improve your life.
Partner's Jupiter conjunct
your Moon is generally a VERY GOOD thing.
Ideally
(very ideally)
Jupiter in the male
chart and Moon in the female chart should be in the same sign
or trine signs.
|
|
Saturn
shows responsibility and karma |
determines one's karmic
obstacles and work style |
the partners' Saturn positions should be
compatible if they are to enjoy an adequate division of labor Tight orbs
between her Saturn & his Moon, or his Saturn & her
Sun, may reveal emotional oppression. Conversely,
well-related Saturn positions can give excellent
working relationships, mutually respectful joint planning, & great wealth. Saturn
& the
4th house (10th-from-7th) shows the "public
face" of the marriage. |
|
Rahu-Ketu
|
Partner's Rahu conjunct your Moon
is generally NOT a good thing.
The person with Rahu in the same
sign with your Chandra will cause you sorrow.
|
|
Dara-Pada |
Arudha lagna of the
rashi 7th house
shows the inner truth of a marriage, often a quite
different story from how the marriage appears on the
outside. |
|
|