Delighted to hear that you gave yourself permission to sense the tangible shift in energy field around a dying person. You intuitively noticed his life-force energy fluctuating ; that's excellent. And yes, that tangible energy field field with love, fear, and anxiety advances toward loved ones, then retreats, and may advance and retreat tidally several times before the spirit has full permission to leave the physical body. It looks smoky grey, with a little olive-drab or what some psychics call "greasy spots" if the person is sick, dying from a disease.

• But that energy field or aura gets so big at the time of death, it's really interesting.

• When we know psychically if not consciously that death is approaching, we try to get in touch with everyone we love on a psychic level.

Even in cultures (like our) where death is taboo and everyone including the dying person will insist, right up til the last days or even moments of life, that the person dying is hale and hearty, "beating all the odds" will of course "pull through" and other respect for the taboo.

Even when the person is dying right there in front of our eyes we'll insist they have more than enough vital force to keep living, and ought to keep living, even when they're living in a body that's over a hundred years old we'll keep insisting they should "hang on".

Well, you get my point - we have a pretty intense death taboo so our rational minds are saying he/she will be "fine" even when psychically the aura is signaling like crazy that the person is ready to go.

Now in cases of accidental death it's different. You might get the same signals over a period of days or hours, but it's not a nice ebb and flow - it's like a hurricane and very scary for all involved. The smoke is thick and toxic, unless the person is very clean spiritually, because the fear of separation from the physical body and the field of conscious connection with the loved ones is building frenetically. Still, it's the same signalling and very helpful to be aware of it.

Especially folks whose religious frameof reference provides no clear idea of the next phase, they have a longing to leave the pain of the physical body but also fear of an unknown next step holds them back. Thus the ebb and flow, spring forward fall back, hurry up and wait... I'm happy that you could sense all the psychic fluctuation with your dad's passing, it's very validating to your own spirit, confirms the strength of your intuition, and also clears the channel of communication to your dad that was so painfully blocked while he loved and was so compelled to criticize you.

The good news is that Family relationships often improve dramatically after one partner has left their body, because the one "left behind" suddenly has permission to communicate with their loved one as a spirit. Suddenly the loved one has no social authority, or body, or moral clout - they are just a spirit (as they always were, of course) and we can now communicate spirit-to-spirit, any time of the day or night, just by requesting to be in communication. No long-distance charges!

I personally have found that my relationship with both of my parents has improved dramatically over the years since their passing, ditto for grandparents and others I have been close to in life who have left their bodies but remain connected in spirit. It is a huge gift to be able to converse with honest intelligence with someone I love and trust - my parents - without needing to fear their or my survival energy will throw judgment or criticism into the communication.

After we are liberated from the extremely demanding task of surviving, getting food several times per day; protecting ourselves from dangerous weather, enemies, and predatory beasts; clothing our naked bodies;, making sure we stay secure in our tribe - geez - after all that is behind us, we can just be in spirit! What a relief! And the first thing we attend to in pure spirit form is not food, or warmth, or escaping wild beasts, or getting praise/avoiding blame - but love! It becomes glaringly obvious when all the survival urgency is gone, that love is "all there is" and as a result, your loved ones who are now in spirit form are very loving! They respond quickly to love and support, rushing to confirm your own spirit and the love that holds your entire family together at the core.

To communicate with a loved one who has liberated their fleshly body and is now primarily identified with their astral form (which means they do "see someone" when they look in the mirror - but that someone is a light-pattern not a solid mass) just ask to talk with them. It is unbelievably simple. Simply say in your mind (no need to speak out loud because astral beings hear your thoughts directly): "mom" or "dad" or "freddie" or "my baby lucy" - call their name that you used for them during their life - "Mom, can we talk?" That's all you need to say.

• Because spirits in astral form are not bound by time or space, they can answer instantaneously, and if they want to, they will.

• Usually we are wanting to talk with people we really love

• The beloved do love us too, so they want very much to be in communication

• they are grateful that we have the minimum faith to transcend the ignorance of conventional materialistic opinion which says that people cease to exist after they leave their bodies or that it is not possible to contact them in whatever form they do persist.

Both very wrong views and the cause of much loneliness and suffering amongst people who deeply need to be in confirming, validating, supporting contact with the spirits of their family members, deceased spouses, and dear friends who form their nourishing love network. So getting in touch with the deceased is easy and a huge blessing to both parties.

Just do it.

Say, 'Dad, are you there? Do you have time to talk?" (Time is a concept that binds us on our material side of the conversation but no problem for the astral crowd - they know what you mean by time, they are just glad they are free of it for the time being [as it were]...) And if you are sincere and you have faith, you will see something (close your eyes for best results) that tells you your Dad is "on the line" such as an image of his face as it looked in some year of his life.

• Don't be surprised if you see him at age ten or twenty instead of the Dad you knew at his age 40 or 90...

• He will be showing you the version of himself he is working with right now, quite likely an age where he got stuck on an emotion or from which age he projected some important expectation upon you... but this is a minor detail.

The important thing is that you are connected. Go ahead and talk. Tell your dad, or mom, or deceased child, or spouse, or dear friend or spiritual teacher, or whomever you love and would like to talk with, what you have to ask. Listen for their reply in your head. They have an incredibly clear perspective from where they see things there in the non-survival plane; their advice is worth considering!

Don't criticize what you hear or your capacity to hear it. Just conduct a normal conversation as if you were on the telephone or internet chat. Let the communication come to you, hear it and understand it, and respond when you want to. When the conversation is finished tell the person thanks, great to talk with you, and carry on with your earthly business. Of course before you are done talking make sure to tell them that you love them.

This is way easy to do, incredibly healing, and a huge resource in getting ideas and information about how to move successfully though the important questions and decisions that you will face as you age and move through your own life.

• Loved ones who have left their bodies, as well as spirit guides and teachers, are usually very willing to help us make informed choices and allay our fears of being alone or unsupported.

Loved ones are very reliable guides. Unlike spirit guides and unsolicited teachers who should be vetted, carefully interviewed and a boundaried relationship established before their information can be fully trusted, deceased loved ones are well-known and trustworthy. We know they love us and want the best for us, and that their advice comes directly from the heart.

Love really is forever.

An occasional problem: presence of ancestors during Jyotisha readings