"Now what is the best possible path?"
Can love & passion survive fear & resistance to change?
Gochara Shani & Ketu in Simha
This query was placed by Aspiring Film Star who is the immediate younger sibling of the bride.
Below see nativity of the querent, who is experiencing severe moral dilemma regarding his social identity and personal moral integrity, as well as trying to establish himself in the theatrical profession.
Gochara Shani and gochara Ketu were crossing radix lagna at time of enquiry, approx. six week before onset of Shani bhukti.
Naturally, the wants to 'do the right thing' but the stress of ethical conflict induced by Shani's and Ketu's transits across the essential radix lagna are particularly intense.
Q:
Respected Madam, Namaskar,
Thanks for helping Us, ...
the marriage done was a temple marriage done secretly, but it could not be registered with court, due to the disclosure of the secret by a relative.
Soon after the disclosure, we (Parents and myself were confused) so we planned to kept silent, bcoz spread of news would have caused social defaming and confusion..
I visited a near-by popular Pandit/astrologer as well a Tantric, who is a very honest person also.
Shri Panditji guided us by telling us that use of Tantric powers have been done on my sister, to mesmerize her by the person she has married, since the last few years.
I worked simply according to Panditji, who helped as God during that crisis time, It was because of his hard work, that made us come out of the city, peacefully.
But during this period, my sister continued to pressurise mother, and tried all sorts of emotional blackmailing and indirect-threats, to push us and that we accept her choice.
We certainly felt that black Magic was done on her, bcoz a family member will never harass a family members., what we were aiming was that we shud separate her from that person, since time is a big healer. But she is so grounded that all three of us get disillusioned and puzzled till now, though she is far away from him and with us, her behavior and body language shows no change in this matter.
One more astrologer has said that the presence of Rahu-Moon in 12th house makes her believer of Tantara.
Now what is the best possible path?
There are very few options left for us now keeping the time factor, her age into account, and the social believes. She is with us since feb-07 till now, far from tht person with no contact with him, Options left:
Wait for the Divorce timing-She will never give divorce and the other person will not ask for it, means we have to keep waiting the other person rejects her or claims separation.
Send her to that person-which will disappoint all of us especially parents, their daughter going in hands of unknown person, also now he might take undue advantage of our weak situation by asking dowry or harassing her i near future.
We cannot compel her or even talk to her about second marriage.
All we can do is that she stays with us, again if i get married which is unlikely till the time she is properly settled.
So Madam,what exactly shud we do ?WE R SIMPLY WAITING FOR THINGS TO GET WELL BY THEMSELVES,after,APril-08. Kindly tell what can be done in this situation.
A:
Yes to compassion, No to superstition, Yes to forgiveness
The first baby step toward best path is always, at the beginning and during every next step, to treat each and every participant in this karmic situation with the maximum possible compassion.
The second proper step, if you are asking for my advice, is to abandon any inclination toward superstition, sorcery, and blaming of outside forces for one's own moral decisions.
The third step will be forgiveness of the parents, who are perhaps acting from selfish fear of their own future position rather than sincere love of the child.
Society as a whole and its power to evoke the survival fears of the human reptile-brain, may also deserve our forgiveness!
Personal responsibility - no victims, no blaming, no excuses
It will be necessary to cultivate mental strength and accept personal responsibility in order to achieve good results in this very difficult situation.
It is very convenient to blame black magic or sorcery or other misuse of tantrik skill for the conflict and unhappiness currently befalling your family. However, this is a highly counterproductive and irresponsible type of thinking, known as "victim logic".
Do not be a victim.
Do not indulge in superstitious blaming and black tantra. To do so encourages the darkness of self-obsession, and blocks the light of Divine Intelligence.
By taking personal responsibility for your own choices, behaviors, and principles, you and everyone in your family can create the bright, positive future that you desire. If you need help - and we all need help! - dedicate your life to full partnership with the Supreme Being whose nature is Pure Unconditional Love.
Nothing else works.
Karmic stress pattern of mutual blaming, criticism, and oppression
At root, the problem from a Jyotisha perspective is interlocked karma of the four major players: two parents and their two adult children.
I would recommend to look closely and non-judgmentally at the personalities of these four people. (Take the sister's husband out of the picture for a moment.) I would be willing to speculate that this marriage problem of the daughter is a culmination of many years of manipulation and resistance patterns within the family unit.
Compassion means being able to "stand in the shoes" of another, feel their feelings, and accept their predicament as appropriate to their path.
The karmic stress pattern of mutual blaming, criticism, and oppression will continue until at least one person steps forward to speak with compassion and tell the truth.
Aim for honesty regarding true motives
Family members may lack compassion in this situation. They may be dishonest about their root motives for wanting to destroy the love marriage of this daughter and the husband she chose for herself.
Do the parents sincerely want "the best" for their daughter (love and passion) - or do they in fact want "the best" for themselves (pride and social position)?
Does the younger brother want his sister to be emotionally fulfilled and to enjoy the passion of young love attending her delicate beauty?
Or does he want to curry favor with the parents who may still be paying his bills, pretending to care for his sister but indeed denying her feelings, perhaps becoming a mouthpiece for authoritarian tradition?
Love:
Compassion means wanting another to be free of suffering.
Love means sincerely wanting another to be happy.
When we love another person - child, sibling, spouse, or parent - we feel a limitless desire for them to be happy.
We absolutely want the best for them, without conditions or consideration of whether their happiness affects our own material fortunes.
Parental love
Typically the true love of parents toward their children is very pure.
Parents naturally want their children to be happy!
Parents feel that they "know better" which skills, desires, and habits should be cultivated to provide a lifetime of greater happiness. Normally parents are quite right about the need for personal discipline, good diet, good association, study skills, medical care, etc. That's why children receive parents: to shape and guide their character!
However, if the parents find themselves shaping & directing the child's choices not out of wise love for the child but rather out of selfish fears and insecurities, then the trust placed in those parents can begin to erode. In serious cases of selfish motivation, parents can actually harm their children both morally and physically.
Moral entitlement to make decisions for one's child:
What loving parent would ever want harm to come to their precious children?! But indeed this negative, trust-destroying result can occur when fear replaces love as the parental core motive.
When the parents' own material welfare becomes more important than the happiness of their child, the parents lose their moral entitlement to make decisions on their child's behalf.
So, I encourage everyone to look compassionately at the parental fears in this situation. Notice whether their fears have begun to overwhelm their loving trust in the divine goodness of their children.
Children are a gift from God -- not a tool for personal or social aggrandizement. It is good to be attentive here. Be prepared to begin forgiveness of the parents and siblings, if indeed they have stumbled on their moral path.
Sincere, objective reflection upon true operating motives
IMO, sincere meditation upon the real motives in the case, and an honest accounting of the social, moral, customary, and religious values being invoked, will shed important light upon the next proper step.
Dishonesty of all parties is a concern. Ensure that everyone is, to the best of their ability, speaking from the heart.
Gochara Shani in Simha: Question authority!
"There are very few options left for us now keeping the time factor, her age into account, and the social believes. "
Question this sense of "limited options" and purported urgency to suppress an inconvenient eruption of independent choice, love, and passion.
This is Shani fear-driven thinking that exaggerates the perception of safety and scarcity (Shani) in a marriage decision that should emphasize love, self-knowledge, and creativity (Surya).
What indeed does "the time factor", "her age", or other "social belief" have to do with love and happiness? Women may marry happily at any age, from nine to ninety. For whom are there "few options left"? The bride has indeed a lifetime of options, including the one she has already chosen!
Gochara Shani: forcing sincere moral inquiry, questioning authority, and forgiveness
Gochara Shani in Simha always forces the bloom of "ethics karma" from the subconscious. Shani is exceptionally uncomfortable in Surya's rashi, where Shani is exposed to the blinding bright, hot rays of Divine Intelligence. Shani of course like to operate in the dark, murky, cold world of rules for the sake of rules, enforced conformism, and publicly approved, lowest-common-denominator behaviors. Shani's banner is "safety".
Under the tyranny of "safety" the individual cannot and should not make one's own rational choices. The rule of law, the weight of tradition, & the fear of ostracization, no disorderly, disruptive debates personal ethical integrity can be tolerated.
When Shani travels through Ravi's rashi, Shani must try to preserve His dark and rigid fortress of Safety against the brilliant, burning hot, individualistic, rational onslaught of Surya's forces. Shani's movement through the terribly hostile territory of Simha evokes a great battle in human society and even greater in the nativities where Shani, Surya, or Simha are impacted by the transit. Ethical conflict is inevitable - and, for the conscious impacted native - highly beneficial for moral growth.
A need for rational self-inspection, along with respect for the fears of others
The key to success is rational self-inquiry, appreciation and respect for Shani's safety agenda, and commitment to highest individual ethical action.
The individual must break away, ethically, from the pack.
To do so one must be willing to inspect one's own moral principles. Why does one hold these moral beliefs? Upon inspection, are some or all of these beliefs based on fear and not compassion? Upon inspection, can one's moral beliefs be better aligned with Divine Intelligence (Surya) discovered in meditation and selfless service?
Releasing one's own ego fear of social failure
Release resistance and fear. Focus closely on fear of social judgment, which is affecting everyone these days due to the transit of gochara Shani & Ketu through Simha rashi. Shani brings punishment for non-conformity to social custom, and fear of telling the truth (Simha/Surya at its best signifies true honesty and moral integrity).
Reflect on the natural fears and prejudices carried by the parents, and *forgive* them their trespasses! Of course they are older and hungry for the security promised by children in "good" (materially wealthy, high-caste) marriages.
However, does the parental insecurity and fear of old age ensure their right to deprive their daughter of her freely chosen husband? Clearly the daughter continues to maintain her marriage vows, nearly one year after her vows were confirmed in a sacred marriage.
Let us look carefully at the moral principles involved here. Which prerogatives are being claimed and why?
No victims
Seek to entirely avoid the behavior of "blaming" upon persons or spirits. Every action and reaction in human life is a projection of one's own subconscious expectations and desires upon the blank screen of perceptual experience. Although normal humans cannot control the nature of the projections, we have a tremendous amount of control over how we *respond* to the projections.
Victims abdicate their power to control how they respond to the projections.
Do not be a victim. Take responsibility (without guilt, of course!) and accept control.
You and your family members have considerable control over your own belief system. While much is culturally inherited, much is also amenable to rational inspection in this age of philosophical education and logical science.
The psychic fact is that beings who occupy bodies (i.e. everyone presently in a human incarnation) have natural seniority over beings who do not have bodies.
Evil spirits - although they are indeed out and about and often nasty troublemakers - *cannot* overwhelm the minds of human beings unless they are given permission to do so.
This is an extremely important point.
Black Magic/Sorcery requires victim's cooperation
Demonic forces *must have permission* to affect the mind of the "victim" or they simply cannot enter. No sorcerer no matter how skillful can cross the boundary of an aura marked "do not enter".
Yes, Black Magic and psychological manipulation can be effective against weak minds who participate in victim-thinking.
Do you want to be a victim?
This decision is actually a choice to be made, not a curse of fate. If you are intelligent enough to read this paragraph, you have the power to decide to not be a victim.
To alleviate family sorrow, anger, manipulation, and guilt:
Accept responsibility for adult choices and their outcomes.
Step back and look at the cultural assumptions involved, and ask whether these assumptions are valid, and for whom. Shani repays careful examination and detailed planning!
Ask the larger questions about the daughter's true well-being. Evaluate the parents' and sibling's sense of entitlement to limit and control the daughter's heart of love.
Make compassion the motive of all choices and actions. Forego selfish or fearful thinking. When fear-driven folks (especially ill or elderly) act from fear, immediately forgive them - but do not follow them! Set oneself on an honest moral path, based on the love which gives deepest desire for another to feel happiness.
Your own safety, security, and well-being is best guaranteed not by fearful oppression but by the freedom and creativity of an open, honest heart.
Namaste.
Timing for gochara Shani & Ketu:
The good news is that Ketu will exit Simha rashi on 29-April-2008. The end of Ketu's passage through Simha may relieve some of the confusion within the family about morally correct action.
However the longer-term pressure that gochara Shani places on the querent, to enforce honest love & personal moral integrity without regard to material safety and convenience, will continue until Shani finally exits Simha rashi (querent's radix lagna) in Sept-2009.
Furthermore, Shani's effects can be expected to increase tangibly when the native enters a forthcoming Shani bhukti.
Nativity of the Bride
Gochara Shani and gochara Ketu in Simha
Shani/Guru period
gochara Shani/Ketu disrupting/oppressing/confusing domain-4 (home/family/cultural roots)
Shani mahadasha in effect since the native's age of 13 - approx. when parents began planning customary marriage arrangements. (Natal Shani in domain-9, while L-9 Chandra in obscure domain-12 with the churning Chandala Rahu = trouble with religious ritualism, father's fears, father's subconscious turmoil, expressed mainly through the mother).
Shani return in marriage varga (navamsha) oppressing the bhukti pat Guru
the bride has much less overt need for rational moral inquiry than her younger brother (see his nativity at the top of this page); her D-1/D-9 is provided here for comparative reference
the bride's perception of the younger sibling = mainly as a Shani-dominated enforcer of conventional behavior, and particularly as an extension of the father's dogmatic (not faith-based) conservatism (Shani/9; drishti upon domain-3 for younger-sibling).
updated: 12 August 2008
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